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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:21 last edited by
    #527

    It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • J jon-nyc
      20 Feb 2022, 23:44

      I sold my vacuum the other day.

      All it was doing was collecting dust.

      G Offline
      G Offline
      George K
      wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:23 last edited by
      #528

      @jon-nyc said in So....:

      sold my vacuum the other day.
      All it was doing was collecting dust.

      A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

      @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Offline
        J Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
        #529

        Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
          #530

          Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

          Imagine all the people…

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • L Offline
            L Offline
            Larry
            wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
            #531

            Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Offline
              J Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
              #532

              Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

              Besides, the red ones are tasty.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Offline
                J Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
                #533

                After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                I’m now officially buysexual.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • G Offline
                  G Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
                  #534

                  The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
                    #535

                    I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                    But she’s digging in her heels.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Offline
                      J Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
                      #536

                      My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                      If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • C Offline
                        C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                        #537

                        The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • C Offline
                          C Offline
                          Catseye3
                          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
                          #538

                          Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                          😖

                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                          L 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 11:46
                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
                            #539

                            Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Offline
                              J Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
                              #540

                              I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                              There are red flags everywhere.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • C Catseye3
                                23 Feb 2022, 21:33

                                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                😖

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                LuFins Dad
                                wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
                                #541

                                @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                😖

                                LOL

                                The Brad

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J jon-nyc
                                  20 Feb 2022, 16:07

                                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                  I Offline
                                  I Offline
                                  Ivorythumper
                                  wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by
                                  #542

                                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                  One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                  C 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:12
                                  • J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 11:49 last edited by
                                    #543

                                    I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                                    It’s an oughttobiography.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • K Offline
                                      K Offline
                                      Klaus
                                      wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:11 last edited by
                                      #544

                                      This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                      G 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:49
                                      • I Ivorythumper
                                        24 Feb 2022, 18:52

                                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                        When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                        When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                        One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        Catseye3
                                        wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:12 last edited by
                                        #545

                                        @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                        I 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 13:16
                                        • K Klaus
                                          25 Feb 2022, 12:11

                                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:49 last edited by
                                          #546

                                          @Klaus said in So....:

                                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                          You misspelled "degenerated."

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

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                                          23 Feb 2022, 20:51


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