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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 95.1k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #533

    After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

    I’m now officially buysexual.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #534

      The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #535

        I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

        But she’s digging in her heels.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #536

          My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

          If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • Catseye3C Offline
            Catseye3C Offline
            Catseye3
            wrote on last edited by
            #537

            The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

            1 Reply Last reply
            • Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3
              wrote on last edited by
              #538

              Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

              😖

              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

              LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #539

                Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #540

                  I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                  There are red flags everywhere.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • Catseye3C Catseye3

                    Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                    😖

                    LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins Dad
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #541

                    @Catseye3 said in So....:

                    Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                    😖

                    LOL

                    The Brad

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                      IvorythumperI Offline
                      IvorythumperI Offline
                      Ivorythumper
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #542

                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                      One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                      Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #543

                        I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                        It’s an oughttobiography.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • KlausK Offline
                          KlausK Offline
                          Klaus
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #544

                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                          • IvorythumperI Ivorythumper

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                            When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                            One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                            Catseye3C Offline
                            Catseye3C Offline
                            Catseye3
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #545

                            @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                            IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                            • KlausK Klaus

                              This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                              George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #546

                              @Klaus said in So....:

                              This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                              You misspelled "degenerated."

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                IvorythumperI Offline
                                IvorythumperI Offline
                                Ivorythumper
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #547

                                @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG Offline
                                  George KG Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #548

                                  Today, I got gas for $1.89!

                                  Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • IvorythumperI Ivorythumper

                                    @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                    @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                    It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                    Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                    Catseye3C Offline
                                    Catseye3C Offline
                                    Catseye3
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #549

                                    @Ivorythumper I'm happy to take your word for it. I don't even remember it that well.

                                    Also, I'm horribly uncritical about movies. It takes a very low bar for me to actually dislike a movie, so I'm probably not a great judge.

                                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #550

                                      Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

                                      But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                        Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

                                        But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

                                        George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #551

                                        @jon-nyc ...

                                        alt text

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #552

                                          My grandfather was responsible for 35 downed German planes in WW-2.

                                          Still to this day holds the record for the worst mechanic ever in the history of the Luftwaffe.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
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