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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 93.4k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #518

    I don't really like cocaine, I just love the way it smells.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
      #519

      Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. The loser had wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #520

        I just landed a senior role at Old McDonalds farm.

        I’m the CIEIO.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #521

          What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

          In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all a scam.

          In a religion, that guy is dead.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #522

            During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

            When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #523

              I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

              They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                AxtremusA Away
                AxtremusA Away
                Axtremus
                wrote on last edited by
                #524

                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
                Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #525

                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #526

                    I sold my vacuum the other day.

                    All it was doing was collecting dust.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #527

                      It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                        I sold my vacuum the other day.

                        All it was doing was collecting dust.

                        George KG Offline
                        George KG Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #528

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        sold my vacuum the other day.
                        All it was doing was collecting dust.

                        A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

                        @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #529

                          Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #530

                            Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                            Imagine all the people…

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • LarryL Offline
                              LarryL Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #531

                              Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #532

                                Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                                Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #533

                                  After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                                  I’m now officially buysexual.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #534

                                    The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #535

                                      I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                                      But she’s digging in her heels.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #536

                                        My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                                        If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #537

                                          The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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