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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

    I sold my vacuum the other day.

    All it was doing was collecting dust.

    George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #528

    @jon-nyc said in So....:

    sold my vacuum the other day.
    All it was doing was collecting dust.

    A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

    @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #529

      Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #530

        Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

        Imagine all the people…

        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • LarryL Offline
          LarryL Offline
          Larry
          wrote on last edited by
          #531

          Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #532

            Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

            Besides, the red ones are tasty.

            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #533

              After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

              I’m now officially buysexual.

              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • George KG Offline
                George KG Offline
                George K
                wrote on last edited by
                #534

                The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #535

                  I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                  But she’s digging in her heels.

                  If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #536

                    My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                    If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #537

                      The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #538

                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                        😖

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #539

                          Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #540

                            I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                            There are red flags everywhere.

                            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • Catseye3C Catseye3

                              Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                              😖

                              LuFins DadL Offline
                              LuFins DadL Offline
                              LuFins Dad
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #541

                              @Catseye3 said in So....:

                              Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                              😖

                              LOL

                              The Brad

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                IvorythumperI Offline
                                IvorythumperI Offline
                                Ivorythumper
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #542

                                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #543

                                  I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                                  It’s an oughttobiography.

                                  If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • KlausK Offline
                                    KlausK Offline
                                    Klaus
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #544

                                    This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                    • IvorythumperI Ivorythumper

                                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                      One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #545

                                      @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                      IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • KlausK Klaus

                                        This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                        George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #546

                                        @Klaus said in So....:

                                        This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                        You misspelled "degenerated."

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                          @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                          IvorythumperI Offline
                                          IvorythumperI Offline
                                          Ivorythumper
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #547

                                          @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                          @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                          It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                          Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                          Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
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