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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #535

    I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

    But she’s digging in her heels.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #536

      My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

      If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • Catseye3C Offline
        Catseye3C Offline
        Catseye3
        wrote on last edited by
        #537

        The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

        1 Reply Last reply
        • Catseye3C Offline
          Catseye3C Offline
          Catseye3
          wrote on last edited by
          #538

          Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

          😖

          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

          LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #539

            Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #540

              I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

              There are red flags everywhere.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • Catseye3C Catseye3

                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                😖

                LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins Dad
                wrote on last edited by
                #541

                @Catseye3 said in So....:

                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                😖

                LOL

                The Brad

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                  IvorythumperI Offline
                  IvorythumperI Offline
                  Ivorythumper
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #542

                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                  One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                  Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #543

                    I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                    It’s an oughttobiography.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • KlausK Offline
                      KlausK Offline
                      Klaus
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #544

                      This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                      George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                      • IvorythumperI Ivorythumper

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                        When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                        One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                        Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #545

                        @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                        • KlausK Klaus

                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                          George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #546

                          @Klaus said in So....:

                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                          You misspelled "degenerated."

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • Catseye3C Catseye3

                            @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                            IvorythumperI Offline
                            IvorythumperI Offline
                            Ivorythumper
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #547

                            @Catseye3 said in So....:

                            @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                            It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                            Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                            Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                            • George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #548

                              Today, I got gas for $1.89!

                              Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • IvorythumperI Ivorythumper

                                @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                Catseye3C Offline
                                Catseye3C Offline
                                Catseye3
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #549

                                @Ivorythumper I'm happy to take your word for it. I don't even remember it that well.

                                Also, I'm horribly uncritical about movies. It takes a very low bar for me to actually dislike a movie, so I'm probably not a great judge.

                                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #550

                                  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

                                  But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                    Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

                                    But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

                                    George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #551

                                    @jon-nyc ...

                                    alt text

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #552

                                      My grandfather was responsible for 35 downed German planes in WW-2.

                                      Still to this day holds the record for the worst mechanic ever in the history of the Luftwaffe.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #553

                                        Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

                                        Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        KlausK 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                          Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

                                          Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

                                          KlausK Offline
                                          KlausK Offline
                                          Klaus
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #554

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

                                          Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

                                          This photo captures my reaction to this joke pretty well.
                                          0f357660-edd8-437f-a027-5924d2e0089f-image.png

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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