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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:21 last edited by
    #527

    It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J jon-nyc
      20 Feb 2022, 23:44

      I sold my vacuum the other day.

      All it was doing was collecting dust.

      G Offline
      G Offline
      George K
      wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:23 last edited by
      #528

      @jon-nyc said in So....:

      sold my vacuum the other day.
      All it was doing was collecting dust.

      A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

      @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Offline
        J Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
        #529

        Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
          #530

          Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

          Imagine all the people…

          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • L Offline
            L Offline
            Larry
            wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
            #531

            Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Offline
              J Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
              #532

              Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

              Besides, the red ones are tasty.

              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Offline
                J Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
                #533

                After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                I’m now officially buysexual.

                If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • G Offline
                  G Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
                  #534

                  The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
                    #535

                    I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                    But she’s digging in her heels.

                    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Offline
                      J Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
                      #536

                      My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                      If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • C Offline
                        C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                        #537

                        The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • C Offline
                          C Offline
                          Catseye3
                          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
                          #538

                          Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                          😖

                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                          L 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 11:46
                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
                            #539

                            Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Offline
                              J Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
                              #540

                              I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                              There are red flags everywhere.

                              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • C Catseye3
                                23 Feb 2022, 21:33

                                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                😖

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                LuFins Dad
                                wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
                                #541

                                @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                😖

                                LOL

                                The Brad

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J jon-nyc
                                  20 Feb 2022, 16:07

                                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                  I Offline
                                  I Offline
                                  Ivorythumper
                                  wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by
                                  #542

                                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                  One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                  C 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:12
                                  • J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 11:49 last edited by
                                    #543

                                    I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                                    It’s an oughttobiography.

                                    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • K Offline
                                      K Offline
                                      Klaus
                                      wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:11 last edited by
                                      #544

                                      This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                      G 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:49
                                      • I Ivorythumper
                                        24 Feb 2022, 18:52

                                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                        When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                        When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                        One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        Catseye3
                                        wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:12 last edited by
                                        #545

                                        @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                        I 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 13:16
                                        • K Klaus
                                          25 Feb 2022, 12:11

                                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:49 last edited by
                                          #546

                                          @Klaus said in So....:

                                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                          You misspelled "degenerated."

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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                                          23 Feb 2022, 20:51


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