Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse

The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 84.8k Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • J Online
    J Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 16:07 last edited by
    #525

    When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

    When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    I 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 18:52
    • J Online
      J Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 23:44 last edited by
      #526

      I sold my vacuum the other day.

      All it was doing was collecting dust.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      G 1 Reply Last reply 21 Feb 2022, 01:23
      • J Online
        J Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:21 last edited by
        #527

        It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • J jon-nyc
          20 Feb 2022, 23:44

          I sold my vacuum the other day.

          All it was doing was collecting dust.

          G Offline
          G Offline
          George K
          wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:23 last edited by
          #528

          @jon-nyc said in So....:

          sold my vacuum the other day.
          All it was doing was collecting dust.

          A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

          @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Online
            J Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
            #529

            Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Online
              J Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
              #530

              Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

              Imagine all the people…

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • L Offline
                L Offline
                Larry
                wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
                #531

                Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Online
                  J Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
                  #532

                  Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                  Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Online
                    J Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
                    #533

                    After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                    I’m now officially buysexual.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • G Offline
                      G Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
                      #534

                      The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J Online
                        J Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
                        #535

                        I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                        But she’s digging in her heels.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J Online
                          J Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
                          #536

                          My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                          If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • C Offline
                            C Offline
                            Catseye3
                            wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                            #537

                            The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • C Offline
                              C Offline
                              Catseye3
                              wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
                              #538

                              Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                              😖

                              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                              L 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 11:46
                              • J Online
                                J Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
                                #539

                                Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Online
                                  J Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
                                  #540

                                  I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                                  There are red flags everywhere.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • C Catseye3
                                    23 Feb 2022, 21:33

                                    Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                    😖

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    LuFins Dad
                                    wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
                                    #541

                                    @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                    Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                    😖

                                    LOL

                                    The Brad

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J jon-nyc
                                      20 Feb 2022, 16:07

                                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                      I Offline
                                      I Offline
                                      Ivorythumper
                                      wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by
                                      #542

                                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                      One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                      C 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:12
                                      • J Online
                                        J Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 11:49 last edited by
                                        #543

                                        I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                                        It’s an oughttobiography.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • K Offline
                                          K Offline
                                          Klaus
                                          wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:11 last edited by
                                          #544

                                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                          G 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:49
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes

                                          534/1000

                                          23 Feb 2022, 00:26


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          534 out of 1000
                                          • First post
                                            534/1000
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups