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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #525

    When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

    When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #526

      I sold my vacuum the other day.

      All it was doing was collecting dust.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      George KG 1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #527

        It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

          I sold my vacuum the other day.

          All it was doing was collecting dust.

          George KG Offline
          George KG Offline
          George K
          wrote on last edited by
          #528

          @jon-nyc said in So....:

          sold my vacuum the other day.
          All it was doing was collecting dust.

          A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

          @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #529

            Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #530

              Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

              Imagine all the people…

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #531

                Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #532

                  Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                  Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #533

                    After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                    I’m now officially buysexual.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG Offline
                      George KG Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #534

                      The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #535

                        I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                        But she’s digging in her heels.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #536

                          My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                          If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • Catseye3C Offline
                            Catseye3C Offline
                            Catseye3
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #537

                            The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #538

                              Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                              😖

                              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                              LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #539

                                Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #540

                                  I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                                  There are red flags everywhere.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                    Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                    😖

                                    LuFins DadL Offline
                                    LuFins DadL Offline
                                    LuFins Dad
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #541

                                    @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                    Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                    😖

                                    LOL

                                    The Brad

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                      IvorythumperI Offline
                                      IvorythumperI Offline
                                      Ivorythumper
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #542

                                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                      One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                      Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #543

                                        I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                                        It’s an oughttobiography.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • KlausK Offline
                                          KlausK Offline
                                          Klaus
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #544

                                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
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