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When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.
When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust.
It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.
@jon-nyc said in So....:
sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.
@Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.
Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"
Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.
Imagine all the people…
Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?
Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.
Besides, the red ones are tasty.
After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.
I’m now officially buysexual.
The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.
I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.
But she’s digging in her heels.
My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.
If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”
I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.
There are red flags everywhere.
@Catseye3 said in So....:
LOL
When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel. When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.
One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?
I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.
It’s an oughttobiography.
This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection .
.