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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 180.8k Views
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  • J Online
    J Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:38 last edited by
    #523

    I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

    They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J jon-nyc
      20 Feb 2022, 15:32

      During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

      When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

      A Offline
      A Offline
      Axtremus
      wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:40 last edited by
      #524

      @jon-nyc said in So....:

      During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

      When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

      The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
      Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Online
        J Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 16:07 last edited by
        #525

        When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

        When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

        I 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 18:52
        • J Online
          J Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 23:44 last edited by
          #526

          I sold my vacuum the other day.

          All it was doing was collecting dust.

          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

          G 1 Reply Last reply 21 Feb 2022, 01:23
          • J Online
            J Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:21 last edited by
            #527

            It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J jon-nyc
              20 Feb 2022, 23:44

              I sold my vacuum the other day.

              All it was doing was collecting dust.

              G Offline
              G Offline
              George K
              wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:23 last edited by
              #528

              @jon-nyc said in So....:

              sold my vacuum the other day.
              All it was doing was collecting dust.

              A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

              @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Online
                J Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
                #529

                Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Online
                  J Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
                  #530

                  Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                  Imagine all the people…

                  If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
                    #531

                    Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Online
                      J Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
                      #532

                      Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                      Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J Online
                        J Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
                        #533

                        After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                        I’m now officially buysexual.

                        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • G Offline
                          G Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
                          #534

                          The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Online
                            J Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
                            #535

                            I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                            But she’s digging in her heels.

                            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Online
                              J Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
                              #536

                              My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                              If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Catseye3
                                wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                                #537

                                The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  Catseye3
                                  wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
                                  #538

                                  Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                  😖

                                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                  L 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 11:46
                                  • J Online
                                    J Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
                                    #539

                                    Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                                    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Online
                                      J Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
                                      #540

                                      I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                                      There are red flags everywhere.

                                      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • C Catseye3
                                        23 Feb 2022, 21:33

                                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                        😖

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        LuFins Dad
                                        wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
                                        #541

                                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                        😖

                                        LOL

                                        The Brad

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • J jon-nyc
                                          20 Feb 2022, 16:07

                                          When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                          When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                          I Offline
                                          I Offline
                                          Ivorythumper
                                          wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by
                                          #542

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                          When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                          One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                          C 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:12
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                                          22 Feb 2022, 18:24


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