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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
998 Posts 26 Posters 84.7k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #523

    I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

    They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

      During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

      When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

      AxtremusA Offline
      AxtremusA Offline
      Axtremus
      wrote on last edited by
      #524

      @jon-nyc said in So....:

      During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

      When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

      The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
      Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #525

        When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

        When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #526

          I sold my vacuum the other day.

          All it was doing was collecting dust.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #527

            It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

              I sold my vacuum the other day.

              All it was doing was collecting dust.

              George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #528

              @jon-nyc said in So....:

              sold my vacuum the other day.
              All it was doing was collecting dust.

              A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

              @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #529

                Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #530

                  Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                  Imagine all the people…

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • LarryL Offline
                    LarryL Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #531

                    Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #532

                      Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                      Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #533

                        After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                        I’m now officially buysexual.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #534

                          The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #535

                            I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                            But she’s digging in her heels.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #536

                              My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                              If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • Catseye3C Offline
                                Catseye3C Offline
                                Catseye3
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #537

                                The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • Catseye3C Offline
                                  Catseye3C Offline
                                  Catseye3
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #538

                                  Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                  😖

                                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                  LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #539

                                    Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #540

                                      I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                                      There are red flags everywhere.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                        😖

                                        LuFins DadL Offline
                                        LuFins DadL Offline
                                        LuFins Dad
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #541

                                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                                        😖

                                        LOL

                                        The Brad

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                          When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                          When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                          IvorythumperI Offline
                                          IvorythumperI Offline
                                          Ivorythumper
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #542

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                          When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                          One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                          Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
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