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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
    #529

    Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
      #530

      Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

      Imagine all the people…

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • L Offline
        L Offline
        Larry
        wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
        #531

        Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
          #532

          Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

          Besides, the red ones are tasty.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Offline
            J Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
            #533

            After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

            I’m now officially buysexual.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • G Offline
              G Offline
              George K
              wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
              #534

              The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Offline
                J Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
                #535

                I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                But she’s digging in her heels.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
                  #536

                  My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                  If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • C Offline
                    C Offline
                    Catseye3
                    wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                    #537

                    The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Catseye3
                      wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
                      #538

                      Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                      😖

                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                      L 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 11:46
                      • J Offline
                        J Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
                        #539

                        Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J Offline
                          J Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
                          #540

                          I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                          There are red flags everywhere.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • C Catseye3
                            23 Feb 2022, 21:33

                            Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                            😖

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            LuFins Dad
                            wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
                            #541

                            @Catseye3 said in So....:

                            Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                            😖

                            LOL

                            The Brad

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J jon-nyc
                              20 Feb 2022, 16:07

                              When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                              When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                              I Offline
                              I Offline
                              Ivorythumper
                              wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by
                              #542

                              @jon-nyc said in So....:

                              When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                              When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                              One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                              C 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:12
                              • J Offline
                                J Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 11:49 last edited by
                                #543

                                I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                                It’s an oughttobiography.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • K Offline
                                  K Offline
                                  Klaus
                                  wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:11 last edited by
                                  #544

                                  This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                  G 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:49
                                  • I Ivorythumper
                                    24 Feb 2022, 18:52

                                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                    When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                    When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                    One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                    C Offline
                                    C Offline
                                    Catseye3
                                    wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:12 last edited by
                                    #545

                                    @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                    I 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 13:16
                                    • K Klaus
                                      25 Feb 2022, 12:11

                                      This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                      G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:49 last edited by
                                      #546

                                      @Klaus said in So....:

                                      This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                      You misspelled "degenerated."

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • C Catseye3
                                        25 Feb 2022, 12:12

                                        @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                        I Offline
                                        I Offline
                                        Ivorythumper
                                        wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 13:16 last edited by
                                        #547

                                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                        @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                        It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                        Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                        C 1 Reply Last reply 26 Feb 2022, 00:12
                                        • G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 23:37 last edited by
                                          #548

                                          Today, I got gas for $1.89!

                                          Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

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                                          23 Feb 2022, 21:33


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