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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

    I sold my vacuum the other day.

    All it was doing was collecting dust.

    George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #528

    @jon-nyc said in So....:

    sold my vacuum the other day.
    All it was doing was collecting dust.

    A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

    @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #529

      Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #530

        Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

        Imagine all the people…

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • LarryL Offline
          LarryL Offline
          Larry
          wrote on last edited by
          #531

          Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #532

            Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

            Besides, the red ones are tasty.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #533

              After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

              I’m now officially buysexual.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • George KG Offline
                George KG Offline
                George K
                wrote on last edited by
                #534

                The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #535

                  I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                  But she’s digging in her heels.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #536

                    My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                    If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #537

                      The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #538

                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                        😖

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #539

                          Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #540

                            I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                            There are red flags everywhere.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • Catseye3C Catseye3

                              Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                              😖

                              LuFins DadL Offline
                              LuFins DadL Offline
                              LuFins Dad
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #541

                              @Catseye3 said in So....:

                              Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                              😖

                              LOL

                              The Brad

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                IvorythumperI Offline
                                IvorythumperI Offline
                                Ivorythumper
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #542

                                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #543

                                  I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                                  It’s an oughttobiography.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • KlausK Offline
                                    KlausK Offline
                                    Klaus
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #544

                                    This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                    • IvorythumperI Ivorythumper

                                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                      One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #545

                                      @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                      IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • KlausK Klaus

                                        This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                        George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #546

                                        @Klaus said in So....:

                                        This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                        You misspelled "degenerated."

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                          @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                          IvorythumperI Offline
                                          IvorythumperI Offline
                                          Ivorythumper
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #547

                                          @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                          @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                          It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                          Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                          Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
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