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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 22:47 last edited by
    #518

    I don't really like cocaine, I just love the way it smells.

    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 22:53 last edited by jon-nyc
      #519

      Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. The loser had wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.

      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Offline
        J Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 23:58 last edited by
        #520

        I just landed a senior role at Old McDonalds farm.

        I’m the CIEIO.

        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 09:29 last edited by
          #521

          What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

          In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all a scam.

          In a religion, that guy is dead.

          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Offline
            J Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:32 last edited by
            #522

            During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

            When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

            A 1 Reply Last reply 20 Feb 2022, 15:40
            • J Offline
              J Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:38 last edited by
              #523

              I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

              They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • J jon-nyc
                20 Feb 2022, 15:32

                During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                A Offline
                A Offline
                Axtremus
                wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:40 last edited by
                #524

                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
                Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 16:07 last edited by
                  #525

                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                  If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                  I 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 18:52
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 23:44 last edited by
                    #526

                    I sold my vacuum the other day.

                    All it was doing was collecting dust.

                    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                    G 1 Reply Last reply 21 Feb 2022, 01:23
                    • J Offline
                      J Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:21 last edited by
                      #527

                      It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

                      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J jon-nyc
                        20 Feb 2022, 23:44

                        I sold my vacuum the other day.

                        All it was doing was collecting dust.

                        G Offline
                        G Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:23 last edited by
                        #528

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        sold my vacuum the other day.
                        All it was doing was collecting dust.

                        A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

                        @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J Offline
                          J Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
                          #529

                          Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
                            #530

                            Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                            Imagine all the people…

                            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
                              #531

                              Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • J Offline
                                J Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
                                #532

                                Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                                Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                                If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
                                  #533

                                  After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                                  I’m now officially buysexual.

                                  If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
                                    #534

                                    The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
                                      #535

                                      I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                                      But she’s digging in her heels.

                                      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
                                        #536

                                        My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                                        If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                                        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • C Offline
                                          C Offline
                                          Catseye3
                                          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                                          #537

                                          The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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                                          21 Feb 2022, 01:21


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