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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 93.4k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #512

    My favorite childhood memory was building sand castles with grandpa.

    Until mom came and took the urn away.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #513

      Beware the scams out there!

      I ordered jewelry for my wife for Valentines and they sent me a new fishing rod.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #514

        I’m so unlucky when it comes to love….

        I asked a blind girl out yesterday and she told me she was seeing somebody.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #515

          How do you get a gender studies major off your doorstep?

          Pay for the fucking pizza.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • George KG Offline
            George KG Offline
            George K
            wrote on last edited by
            #516

            Did you hear that the US Olympic bobsled team put a picture of Joe Biden on the front of their bobsled?

            Yeah, they figured nothing can make America go downhill faster.

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #517

              So… I’m currently in a love triangle.

              I love this girl, she loves nobody, and nobody loves me.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #518

                I don't really like cocaine, I just love the way it smells.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                  #519

                  Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. The loser had wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #520

                    I just landed a senior role at Old McDonalds farm.

                    I’m the CIEIO.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #521

                      What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

                      In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all a scam.

                      In a religion, that guy is dead.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #522

                        During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                        When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #523

                          I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

                          They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                            During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                            When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                            AxtremusA Away
                            AxtremusA Away
                            Axtremus
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #524

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                            When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                            The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
                            Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #525

                              When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                              When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #526

                                I sold my vacuum the other day.

                                All it was doing was collecting dust.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #527

                                  It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                    I sold my vacuum the other day.

                                    All it was doing was collecting dust.

                                    George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #528

                                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                    sold my vacuum the other day.
                                    All it was doing was collecting dust.

                                    A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

                                    @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #529

                                      Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #530

                                        Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                                        Imagine all the people…

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • LarryL Offline
                                          LarryL Offline
                                          Larry
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #531

                                          Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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