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Termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
@jon-nyc
@jon-nyc said in So....:
The bar is indeed tender for all debts, public and private.
A recent study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.
And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with Carmel drizzle are more likely to be their victims.
@jon-nyc There, you see? Some things make perfect sense.
So....my front lawn is rather green because of all the rain we've been getting here in southern Maine lately.
I'll have to mow it tomorrow.
Teacher: Little Johnny, what comes after 69?
Little Johnny: mouthwash.....
I asked Aqua’s sister to 68.
She said “you mean 69”?
I said, “No, 68. You blow me and I’ll owe you one”.
I heard the government is putting chips inside of people.
I hope I get Doritos.
My friend David lost his ID.
...
Now we just call him Dav.....
I just watched a documentary on marijuana.
I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Sometimes I rub my hands through my wife’s hair. It’s a good way to let her know I love her.
And that we’re out of napkins.
This month I will be take your phone out and take a picture of the label then blow it up so I can read it years old....
Everybody who's here for the yodeling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly line...
@larry said in So....:
Good one, Larry. Will be sharing this.
What does sex and the military have in common?
You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….
(Maybe too soon)
@xenon said in So....:
What does sex and the military have in common? You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….
Perfect.
I tried drag racing the other day.
It was BRUTAL running in those heels......
So...
I was captured by a mime...
He did unspeakable things to me....
