So....

[jon-nyc]

I heard the government is putting chips inside of people.

I hope I get Doritos.

[Larry]

My friend David lost his ID.

...

Now we just call him Dav.....

[jon-nyc]

I just watched a documentary on marijuana.

I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

[George K]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

I just watched a documentary on marijuana.

I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

[jon-nyc]

Sometimes I rub my hands through my wife’s hair. It’s a good way to let her know I love her.

And that we’re out of napkins.

[Larry]

This month I will be take your phone out and take a picture of the label then blow it up so I can read it years old....

[Larry]

Everybody who's here for the yodeling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly line...

[brenda]

@larry said in So....:

Everybody who's here for the yodeling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly line...

Good one, Larry. Will be sharing this.

[xenon]

What does sex and the military have in common?

You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….

(Maybe too soon)

[George K]

@xenon said in So....:

What does sex and the military have in common?

You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….

Perfect.

[Larry]

I tried drag racing the other day.

It was BRUTAL running in those heels......

[Larry]

So...

I was captured by a mime...

He did unspeakable things to me....

[jon-nyc]

I don’t always roll a joint.

But when I do it’s my ankle.

[jon-nyc]

So I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?

[Catseye3]

When I was younger, I thought "Drink Responsibly" meant don't spill it.

[George K]

@catseye3 said in So....:

When I was younger, I thought "Drink Responsibly" meant don't spill it.

[jon-nyc]

In retrospect, hiding the microchips in the horse dewormer was brilliant.

[xenon]

The women of king Arthur’s court must have been happy….

….they Camelot.

[Catseye3]

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

Doyathinkhesaurus.

[George K]

I went to a zoo the other day.

It only had one animal.

A dog.

It was a shitzu.