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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Larry
    wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
    #531

    Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
      #532

      Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

      Besides, the red ones are tasty.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Offline
        J Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
        #533

        After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

        I’m now officially buysexual.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • G Offline
          G Offline
          George K
          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
          #534

          The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Offline
            J Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
            #535

            I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

            But she’s digging in her heels.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Offline
              J Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
              #536

              My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

              If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • C Offline
                C Offline
                Catseye3
                wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                #537

                The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                1 Reply Last reply
                • C Offline
                  C Offline
                  Catseye3
                  wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
                  #538

                  Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                  😖

                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                  L 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 11:46
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
                    #539

                    Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Offline
                      J Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
                      #540

                      I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

                      There are red flags everywhere.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • C Catseye3
                        23 Feb 2022, 21:33

                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                        😖

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        LuFins Dad
                        wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
                        #541

                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                        Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                        😖

                        LOL

                        The Brad

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J jon-nyc
                          20 Feb 2022, 16:07

                          When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                          When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                          I Offline
                          I Offline
                          Ivorythumper
                          wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by
                          #542

                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                          When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                          When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                          One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                          C 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:12
                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 11:49 last edited by
                            #543

                            I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                            It’s an oughttobiography.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • K Offline
                              K Offline
                              Klaus
                              wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:11 last edited by
                              #544

                              This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                              G 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:49
                              • I Ivorythumper
                                24 Feb 2022, 18:52

                                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                                When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                                One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Catseye3
                                wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:12 last edited by
                                #545

                                @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                I 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 13:16
                                • K Klaus
                                  25 Feb 2022, 12:11

                                  This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                  G Offline
                                  G Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:49 last edited by
                                  #546

                                  @Klaus said in So....:

                                  This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                                  You misspelled "degenerated."

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • C Catseye3
                                    25 Feb 2022, 12:12

                                    @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                    I Offline
                                    I Offline
                                    Ivorythumper
                                    wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 13:16 last edited by
                                    #547

                                    @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                    @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                    It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                    Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                    C 1 Reply Last reply 26 Feb 2022, 00:12
                                    • G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 23:37 last edited by
                                      #548

                                      Today, I got gas for $1.89!

                                      Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • I Ivorythumper
                                        25 Feb 2022, 13:16

                                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                        @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                        It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                        Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        Catseye3
                                        wrote on 26 Feb 2022, 00:12 last edited by
                                        #549

                                        @Ivorythumper I'm happy to take your word for it. I don't even remember it that well.

                                        Also, I'm horribly uncritical about movies. It takes a very low bar for me to actually dislike a movie, so I'm probably not a great judge.

                                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on 28 Feb 2022, 17:23 last edited by
                                          #550

                                          Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

                                          But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          G 1 Reply Last reply 28 Feb 2022, 18:11
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