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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Online
    J Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 22:47 last edited by
    #518

    I don't really like cocaine, I just love the way it smells.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Online
      J Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 22:53 last edited by jon-nyc
      #519

      Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. The loser had wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.

      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Online
        J Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 23:58 last edited by
        #520

        I just landed a senior role at Old McDonalds farm.

        I’m the CIEIO.

        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Online
          J Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 09:29 last edited by
          #521

          What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

          In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all a scam.

          In a religion, that guy is dead.

          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Online
            J Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:32 last edited by
            #522

            During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

            When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

            Thank you for your attention to this matter.

            A 1 Reply Last reply 20 Feb 2022, 15:40
            • J Online
              J Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:38 last edited by
              #523

              I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

              They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

              Thank you for your attention to this matter.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • J jon-nyc
                20 Feb 2022, 15:32

                During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                A Offline
                A Offline
                Axtremus
                wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:40 last edited by
                #524

                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
                Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Online
                  J Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 16:07 last edited by
                  #525

                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                  Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                  I 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 18:52
                  • J Online
                    J Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 23:44 last edited by
                    #526

                    I sold my vacuum the other day.

                    All it was doing was collecting dust.

                    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                    G 1 Reply Last reply 21 Feb 2022, 01:23
                    • J Online
                      J Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:21 last edited by
                      #527

                      It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J jon-nyc
                        20 Feb 2022, 23:44

                        I sold my vacuum the other day.

                        All it was doing was collecting dust.

                        G Offline
                        G Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:23 last edited by
                        #528

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        sold my vacuum the other day.
                        All it was doing was collecting dust.

                        A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

                        @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J Online
                          J Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
                          #529

                          Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Online
                            J Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
                            #530

                            Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                            Imagine all the people…

                            Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
                              #531

                              Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • J Online
                                J Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
                                #532

                                Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                                Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Online
                                  J Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
                                  #533

                                  After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                                  I’m now officially buysexual.

                                  Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
                                    #534

                                    The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Online
                                      J Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
                                      #535

                                      I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                                      But she’s digging in her heels.

                                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Online
                                        J Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
                                        #536

                                        My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

                                        If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

                                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • C Offline
                                          C Offline
                                          Catseye3
                                          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
                                          #537

                                          The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

                                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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