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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 177.8k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #1029

    I crashed my bike in 1973 and scraped my knee real bad.

    We didn’t have internet then so I’m telling you now.

    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • MikM Offline
      MikM Offline
      Mik
      wrote on last edited by
      #1030

      A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”
      The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?”
      The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat 🐀. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano 🎹.
      The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and starts playing the blues like a rodent Ray Charles. 🎶
      Stunned, the bartender pours him a free drink 🍺.
      After finishing it, the guy says, “Now, if I show you an even better trick, do I drink free all night?”
      “Buddy, if you can top that, you’re drinking on me till closing,” the bartender replies.
      The man pulls the rat and piano out again, and this time reaches into his coat and pulls out… a small bullfrog 🐸.
      The frog clears his throat and starts belting out soulful blues lyrics. The rat’s playing, the frog’s singing — the bar is dead silent in awe.
      Suddenly, a man rushes up and says, “I’ll give you $10,000 for that frog!”
      The guy says, “Nope, not for sale.”
      “$25,000!”
      “Nope.”
      “$50,000! Cash!”
      “Deal.” 💵
      The bartender’s jaw drops. “Are you CRAZY? That frog was a gold mine! Why’d you sell him?”
      The man smirks and says, “Relax. The frog can’t sing... the rat’s a ventriloquist.” 😎🎤🐀

      "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #1031

        Lol

        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #1032

          I saw a bird eating avocado toast.

          I guess it was some sort of millennial falcon.

          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #1033

            I just turned wine into vomit.

            Your move, Jesus.

            If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #1034

              My wife asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.

              Apparently “Don’t worry, honey, your tits cover it” wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #1035

                I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                • HoraceH Online
                  HoraceH Online
                  Horace
                  wrote last edited by
                  #1036

                  Link to video

                  Education is extremely important.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote last edited by
                    #1037

                    Rectal Grease went and complained to HR and now we can't use nicknames at work anymore...

                    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                      I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                      Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                      Doctor PhibesD Offline
                      Doctor PhibesD Offline
                      Doctor Phibes
                      wrote last edited by
                      #1038

                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                      I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                      Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                      Recent evidence suggest that a barrel full of monkeys is not half as much fun as previously claimed, and is, in fact, rather horrifying!

                      I was only joking

                      1 Reply Last reply
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