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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 185.1k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #1026

    People’s IQ should be presented like the weather.

    Actual IQ: 105
    Feels like: 82

    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #1027

      I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink.

      I’m at urgent care waiting to be seen.

      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #1028

        I used to work at a deli but I got fired for sticking my dick into the pickle slicer.

        She got fired too.

        If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #1029

          I crashed my bike in 1973 and scraped my knee real bad.

          We didn’t have internet then so I’m telling you now.

          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • MikM Offline
            MikM Offline
            Mik
            wrote on last edited by
            #1030

            A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”
            The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?”
            The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat 🐀. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano 🎹.
            The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and starts playing the blues like a rodent Ray Charles. 🎶
            Stunned, the bartender pours him a free drink 🍺.
            After finishing it, the guy says, “Now, if I show you an even better trick, do I drink free all night?”
            “Buddy, if you can top that, you’re drinking on me till closing,” the bartender replies.
            The man pulls the rat and piano out again, and this time reaches into his coat and pulls out… a small bullfrog 🐸.
            The frog clears his throat and starts belting out soulful blues lyrics. The rat’s playing, the frog’s singing — the bar is dead silent in awe.
            Suddenly, a man rushes up and says, “I’ll give you $10,000 for that frog!”
            The guy says, “Nope, not for sale.”
            “$25,000!”
            “Nope.”
            “$50,000! Cash!”
            “Deal.” 💵
            The bartender’s jaw drops. “Are you CRAZY? That frog was a gold mine! Why’d you sell him?”
            The man smirks and says, “Relax. The frog can’t sing... the rat’s a ventriloquist.” 😎🎤🐀

            "You cannot subsidize irresponsibility and expect people to become more responsible." — Thomas Sowell

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #1031

              Lol

              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #1032

                I saw a bird eating avocado toast.

                I guess it was some sort of millennial falcon.

                If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #1033

                  I just turned wine into vomit.

                  Your move, Jesus.

                  If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #1034

                    My wife asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.

                    Apparently “Don’t worry, honey, your tits cover it” wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

                    If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #1035

                      I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                      Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                      If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                      Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                      • HoraceH Offline
                        HoraceH Offline
                        Horace
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #1036

                        Link to video

                        Education is extremely important.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote last edited by
                          #1037

                          Rectal Grease went and complained to HR and now we can't use nicknames at work anymore...

                          If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                            I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                            Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                            Doctor PhibesD Offline
                            Doctor PhibesD Offline
                            Doctor Phibes
                            wrote last edited by
                            #1038

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                            Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                            Recent evidence suggest that a barrel full of monkeys is not half as much fun as previously claimed, and is, in fact, rather horrifying!

                            I was only joking

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote last edited by
                              #1039

                              What’s the difference between a dollar and a pound?

                              I don’t dollar your mom.

                              If you don't take it, it can only good happen.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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