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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. Preserving options to have children later in life

Preserving options to have children later in life

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  • LWL LW

    @Renauda I refuse to count on my mom or MIL to be free babysitters. By that, I mean that our primary childcare is daycare, with the grandparents free to have visits whenever. I didn't mean they can't be counted on. I just don't want to make them feel obligated or anything. Come over for a visit or occasional babysitting whenever they wish, no forced schedule.

    MikM Away
    MikM Away
    Mik
    wrote on last edited by
    #49

    @LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

    @Renauda I refuse to count on my mom or MIL to be free babysitters. By that, I mean that our primary childcare is daycare, with the grandparents free to have visits whenever. I didn't mean they can't be counted on. I just don't want to make them feel obligated or anything. Come over for a visit or occasional babysitting whenever they wish, no forced schedule.

    Meaning of course that you two are responsible adults and were raised well.

    “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

    1 Reply Last reply
    • George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #50

      IMG_1369.PNG

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • LWL LW

        @Aqua-Letifer awwww how fun! I'm loving being a parent, and am looking forward to that age and running around playgrounds. However, he is currently sleeping in my arms after a bottle and I love this too.

        MikM Away
        MikM Away
        Mik
        wrote on last edited by
        #51

        @LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

        @Aqua-Letifer awwww how fun! I'm loving being a parent, and am looking forward to that age and running around playgrounds. However, he is currently sleeping in my arms after a bottle and I love this too.

        That age is wonderful in that they stay put.

        “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
        • AxtremusA Axtremus

          +1 congratulations to @LW … didn’t know that you have become a mom until reading this thread. 🙂

          LWL Offline
          LWL Offline
          LW
          wrote on last edited by
          #52

          @Axtremus thank you!

          1 Reply Last reply
          • MikM Mik

            @LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

            @Aqua-Letifer awwww how fun! I'm loving being a parent, and am looking forward to that age and running around playgrounds. However, he is currently sleeping in my arms after a bottle and I love this too.

            That age is wonderful in that they stay put.

            George KG Offline
            George KG Offline
            George K
            wrote on last edited by
            #53

            @Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

            That age is wonderful in that they stay put.

            I remember a conversation with a colleague:

            "Boy it's a pain in the ass when they start to walk."

            "Yeah, wait until they start to talk."

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • JollyJ Offline
              JollyJ Offline
              Jolly
              wrote on last edited by
              #54

              Nah, teenagers is when they become a PITA. But looking on the bright side, they usually come to their senses in their twenties and are kinda nice to have around.

              “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

              Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

              1 Reply Last reply
              • F Friday

                Congrats LW! Nice to hear from you.

                LWL Offline
                LWL Offline
                LW
                wrote on last edited by
                #55

                @Friday thank you! I hope to stick around for a while with frequent check ins. I've missed the gang.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • RenaudaR Renauda

                  @LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

                  five and a half-ish months

                  Congratulations!

                  LWL Offline
                  LWL Offline
                  LW
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #56

                  @Renauda thank you!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • B blondie

                    Congrats to you LW!

                    I was way too immature in my 20s to have children. So I’m glad I waited.

                    LWL Offline
                    LWL Offline
                    LW
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #57

                    @blondie thank you!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • LWL Offline
                      LWL Offline
                      LW
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #58

                      @brenda thank you! Yes, it's much easier right now, although we've learned traveling with a kid is a LOT more work. We'll have our first flight with him in October. Luckily it's only 3 hours.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • LWL Offline
                        LWL Offline
                        LW
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #59

                        He mostly stays put, but has mastered rolling so he rolls off the play mat onto the wood floors liberally sprinkled with fur and dust bunnies. Drooling has also been a fun discovery, which results in a slip-n-slide play mat😂

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • LWL Offline
                          LWL Offline
                          LW
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #60

                          @cathys thank you!

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • HoraceH Online
                            HoraceH Online
                            Horace
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #61

                            Congratulations LW to you and your family!

                            Education is extremely important.

                            LWL 1 Reply Last reply
                            • HoraceH Horace

                              Congratulations LW to you and your family!

                              LWL Offline
                              LWL Offline
                              LW
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #62

                              @Horace said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

                              Congratulations LW to you and your family!

                              Thank you!

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • 89th8 Offline
                                89th8 Offline
                                89th
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #63

                                Personally I think 29.75 is the perfect age to have a child and every other age is wrong, and so is anyone who tells me otherwise.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • 89th8 Offline
                                  89th8 Offline
                                  89th
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #64

                                  It's an interesting topic, mainly because there isn't a right or wrong answer. There are pros and cons to having children at various ages.

                                  For example, a good buddy of mine and his wife are sending their last kid to college, and they are 42. They will be empty nesters with (hopefully) many years to enjoy things with relatively younger bodies and sufficient disposable income. I won't be an empty nester until I'm 57 59, but we also have established careers and savings accounts that allow us more options with the kids right now.

                                  I'm 40 now and one of the main reasons I was fine with 2 kids (although I lost that battle) was I can see how my dad (70) and FIL (74) are still pretty active and able to do pretty much anything around the house/yard, whereas I will be 80 by the time my 3rd kid is my age, but that factor is pretty minor and distant from today, so it's not a practical factor. Although I am actively trying to get into better shape (and more flexible) before this 3rd kid arrives, both for my own sake and for they/them/theirs.

                                  @LuFins-Dad - was it a bit of a shock to restart the baby life after Lucas was nearing the end of high school?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • JollyJ Offline
                                    JollyJ Offline
                                    Jolly
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #65

                                    No right or wrong answer?

                                    Biologically speaking, there is.

                                    “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                                    89th8 AxtremusA 2 Replies Last reply
                                    • JollyJ Jolly

                                      No right or wrong answer?

                                      Biologically speaking, there is.

                                      89th8 Offline
                                      89th8 Offline
                                      89th
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #66

                                      @Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

                                      No right or wrong answer?

                                      Biologically speaking, there is.

                                      Well, I mean, within reason. There are benefits and risks for having a kid at 20 as well as at 40.

                                      LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • JollyJ Jolly

                                        No right or wrong answer?

                                        Biologically speaking, there is.

                                        AxtremusA Offline
                                        AxtremusA Offline
                                        Axtremus
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #67

                                        @Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

                                        No right or wrong answer?

                                        Biologically speaking, there is.

                                        Where nature is insufficiently accommodative, we fix it with technology, something that we continue to adapt and improve over time.

                                        JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • 89th8 89th

                                          @Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

                                          No right or wrong answer?

                                          Biologically speaking, there is.

                                          Well, I mean, within reason. There are benefits and risks for having a kid at 20 as well as at 40.

                                          LuFins DadL Offline
                                          LuFins DadL Offline
                                          LuFins Dad
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #68

                                          @89th said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

                                          @Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

                                          No right or wrong answer?

                                          Biologically speaking, there is.

                                          Well, I mean, within reason. There are benefits and risks for having a kid at 20 as well as at 40.

                                          Biologically? The risks are definitively higher for the 40-year-old..

                                          The Brad

                                          89th8 1 Reply Last reply
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