Preserving options to have children later in life

[blondie]

Congrats to you LW!

I was way too immature in my 20s to have children. So I’m glad I waited.

[brenda]

Congrats, LW! You're past the teeny tiny infant stage, and things get easier now, lots more fun. You've probably already seen this change.

Blondie, I waited to my early thirties to have a baby. We were moving several times around the country during the first years of marriage. Then hubby and I both had our dads die in a six-month period, and we moved back to Minnesooooooota. It was a few years after that before I was ready to try for a baby.

Had ours at age 33, and it's kept me younger. All the folks with kids that age were about ten years my junior.

I am so glad to have waited until I was ready to give my best self to our kiddo, a more responsible self focused on parenting, home life, career, and community service. I'm also glad to have not waited any longer than that, so I can return to my wild self that wouldn't perhaps be as great at parenting.

[cathys]

@Aqua-Letifer and @LW - One of the best parts of checking back in is getting caught up on everyone's life updates! Belated congrats Aqua on your daughter and LW, at least we are connected on FB so I did know about your newbie but congrats again to you too
On the topic at hand. I had my first at 21 and post divorce, 2nd marriage had S2 at 33 and S3 at 35. Good and bad from both perspectives, but patience and maturity were definitely better with the youngest two.
On a side note we've recently (well 18+ months ago) became 1st time grandparents from S2 and that is more awesome than I could have imagined

[Jolly]

Grandkids rock!

And when they don't, you send them home to their parents.

[Mik]

@LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

@Renauda I refuse to count on my mom or MIL to be free babysitters. By that, I mean that our primary childcare is daycare, with the grandparents free to have visits whenever. I didn't mean they can't be counted on. I just don't want to make them feel obligated or anything. Come over for a visit or occasional babysitting whenever they wish, no forced schedule.

Meaning of course that you two are responsible adults and were raised well.

[George K]

[Mik]

@LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

@Aqua-Letifer awwww how fun! I'm loving being a parent, and am looking forward to that age and running around playgrounds. However, he is currently sleeping in my arms after a bottle and I love this too.

That age is wonderful in that they stay put.

[LW]

@Axtremus thank you!

[George K]

@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

That age is wonderful in that they stay put.

I remember a conversation with a colleague:

"Boy it's a pain in the ass when they start to walk."

"Yeah, wait until they start to talk."

[Jolly]

Nah, teenagers is when they become a PITA. But looking on the bright side, they usually come to their senses in their twenties and are kinda nice to have around.

[LW]

@Friday thank you! I hope to stick around for a while with frequent check ins. I've missed the gang.

[LW]

@Renauda thank you!

[LW]

@blondie thank you!

[LW]

@brenda thank you! Yes, it's much easier right now, although we've learned traveling with a kid is a LOT more work. We'll have our first flight with him in October. Luckily it's only 3 hours.

[LW]

He mostly stays put, but has mastered rolling so he rolls off the play mat onto the wood floors liberally sprinkled with fur and dust bunnies. Drooling has also been a fun discovery, which results in a slip-n-slide play mat

[LW]

@cathys thank you!

[Horace]

Congratulations LW to you and your family!

[LW]

@Horace said in Preserving options to have children later in life:

Congratulations LW to you and your family!

Thank you!

[89th]

Personally I think 29.75 is the perfect age to have a child and every other age is wrong, and so is anyone who tells me otherwise.

[89th]

It's an interesting topic, mainly because there isn't a right or wrong answer. There are pros and cons to having children at various ages.

For example, a good buddy of mine and his wife are sending their last kid to college, and they are 42. They will be empty nesters with (hopefully) many years to enjoy things with relatively younger bodies and sufficient disposable income. I won't be an empty nester until I'm 57 59, but we also have established careers and savings accounts that allow us more options with the kids right now.

I'm 40 now and one of the main reasons I was fine with 2 kids (although I lost that battle) was I can see how my dad (70) and FIL (74) are still pretty active and able to do pretty much anything around the house/yard, whereas I will be 80 by the time my 3rd kid is my age, but that factor is pretty minor and distant from today, so it's not a practical factor. Although I am actively trying to get into better shape (and more flexible) before this 3rd kid arrives, both for my own sake and for they/them/theirs.

@LuFins-Dad - was it a bit of a shock to restart the baby life after Lucas was nearing the end of high school?