So....
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wrote on 18 Feb 2025, 13:26 last edited by
I signed up for my company’s 401k.
I’m a little nervous though. I’ve never run that far before.
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wrote on 20 Feb 2025, 04:58 last edited by
My wife complains I don't buy her flowers.
To be honest, I didn't even know she sold flowers.
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wrote on 24 Feb 2025, 12:33 last edited by
I told my wife I want to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
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wrote on 25 Feb 2025, 01:22 last edited by
@jon-nyc I thought I remembered your joke. 555
https://nodebb.the-new-coffee-room.club/topic/98/so/954?_=1740445895930
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T taiwan_girl referenced this topic on 25 Feb 2025, 01:22
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wrote on 25 Feb 2025, 01:46 last edited by
Damn.
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wrote on 17 Mar 2025, 21:07 last edited by
A scammer called me and said he had all my passwords.
I got a pen and said ‘Thank god for that. What are they?’
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wrote on 25 Mar 2025, 22:27 last edited by
If I get sent to jail my wife will bail me out.
She never lets me finish a sentence.
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wrote on 11 Apr 2025, 16:26 last edited by
Best thing about sex with an Amish girl?
She doesn’t expect you to call the next day.
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wrote on 13 Apr 2025, 16:48 last edited by
The doctor told me I had to quit masturbating. I asked her why. She said “because you’re in the middle of a prostate exam, asshole”
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wrote on 13 Apr 2025, 18:28 last edited by
Someone just told me Einstein was a real person.
And all this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
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wrote on 13 Apr 2025, 19:58 last edited by
You know dynamite was invented by Alfred Nobel.
At first he didn't have a name for it; then it blew his house up and he said, this stuff's dynamite.Someone just threw Chinese soup at me.
It was won-ton violence. -
wrote on 14 Apr 2025, 17:57 last edited by
I thought my new girlfriend might be 'The One'.
But after looking through her underwear drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French Maid's outfit and a Policewoman uniform I've decided, if she can't hold down a job, she's not the right one for me.
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wrote on 20 Apr 2025, 08:10 last edited by
So… one of my testicles hangs lower than the other two.
Is this normal?
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wrote on 23 Apr 2025, 00:03 last edited by
Yesterday I didn't take a nap.
Pulled an all-dayer.
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wrote on 26 Apr 2025, 11:52 last edited by
12 years ago today my friend Dave came out running and screaming “IT’S A BOY!!!” with tears streaming down his face.
We’ve never been back to Thailand since.
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wrote on 27 Apr 2025, 19:31 last edited by
Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer.
One of the guys remarks to the other,
"Boy, you look tired!"
His friend replies, "Dude, I'm exhausted. My girlfriend wants to make love all the time - three, four, sometimes even six times a night! She wakes me up at all hours. I don't know what to do!"
An old gentleman in his seventies, sitting a few bar stools down, overhears their conversation.
He looked over at the two men and, showing the wisdom of his age, says,
"Marry her, that'll put an end to that nonsense!"
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wrote on 27 Apr 2025, 20:31 last edited by
Lol
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wrote on 27 Apr 2025, 22:35 last edited by jon-nyc
I want my kid to have everything I couldn’t afford.
Then I want to move in with him.
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wrote on 30 Apr 2025, 23:39 last edited by
I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for quality or training purposes.
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wrote on 3 May 2025, 19:57 last edited by
I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.
