So....
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wrote on 11 Feb 2025, 02:45 last edited by
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and eggs we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.
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wrote on 12 Feb 2025, 16:58 last edited by
I broke an egg making breakfast today.
The insurance company is sending out an adjuster tomorrow.
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wrote on 13 Feb 2025, 23:56 last edited by
I made a mushroom risotto from mushrooms I foraged locally.
Not only was it delicious but a Welsh choir of purple elephants sang the whole Bat Out Of Hell album accompanied by a light show.
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wrote on 18 Feb 2025, 13:26 last edited by
I signed up for my company’s 401k.
I’m a little nervous though. I’ve never run that far before.
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wrote on 20 Feb 2025, 04:58 last edited by
My wife complains I don't buy her flowers.
To be honest, I didn't even know she sold flowers.
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wrote on 24 Feb 2025, 12:33 last edited by
I told my wife I want to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
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wrote on 25 Feb 2025, 01:22 last edited by
@jon-nyc I thought I remembered your joke. 555
https://nodebb.the-new-coffee-room.club/topic/98/so/954?_=1740445895930
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T taiwan_girl referenced this topic on 25 Feb 2025, 01:22
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wrote on 25 Feb 2025, 01:46 last edited by
Damn.
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wrote on 17 Mar 2025, 21:07 last edited by
A scammer called me and said he had all my passwords.
I got a pen and said ‘Thank god for that. What are they?’
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wrote on 25 Mar 2025, 22:27 last edited by
If I get sent to jail my wife will bail me out.
She never lets me finish a sentence.
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wrote 28 days ago last edited by
Best thing about sex with an Amish girl?
She doesn’t expect you to call the next day.
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wrote 26 days ago last edited by
The doctor told me I had to quit masturbating. I asked her why. She said “because you’re in the middle of a prostate exam, asshole”
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wrote 26 days ago last edited by
Someone just told me Einstein was a real person.
And all this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
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wrote 26 days ago last edited by
You know dynamite was invented by Alfred Nobel.
At first he didn't have a name for it; then it blew his house up and he said, this stuff's dynamite.Someone just threw Chinese soup at me.
It was won-ton violence. -
wrote 25 days ago last edited by
I thought my new girlfriend might be 'The One'.
But after looking through her underwear drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French Maid's outfit and a Policewoman uniform I've decided, if she can't hold down a job, she's not the right one for me.
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wrote 19 days ago last edited by
So… one of my testicles hangs lower than the other two.
Is this normal?
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wrote 17 days ago last edited by
Yesterday I didn't take a nap.
Pulled an all-dayer.
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wrote 13 days ago last edited by
12 years ago today my friend Dave came out running and screaming “IT’S A BOY!!!” with tears streaming down his face.
We’ve never been back to Thailand since.
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wrote 12 days ago last edited by
Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer.
One of the guys remarks to the other,
"Boy, you look tired!"
His friend replies, "Dude, I'm exhausted. My girlfriend wants to make love all the time - three, four, sometimes even six times a night! She wakes me up at all hours. I don't know what to do!"
An old gentleman in his seventies, sitting a few bar stools down, overhears their conversation.
He looked over at the two men and, showing the wisdom of his age, says,
"Marry her, that'll put an end to that nonsense!"
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wrote 12 days ago last edited by
Lol
