Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse

The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 100.8k Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • J Online
    J Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 3 Jan 2025, 09:43 last edited by
    #965

    Somebody broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick? Seriously how low can you go?

    They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • G Offline
      G Offline
      George K
      wrote on 11 Jan 2025, 15:25 last edited by
      #966

      I got a vasectomy, but my girlfriend still got pregnant.

      Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • G Offline
        G Offline
        George K
        wrote on 12 Jan 2025, 12:47 last edited by
        #967

        When I was 17 my conservative Christian parents sent me to one of those massive youth group events that celebrates how cool it is to be a virgin.

        Joke's on them, I went to the Star Trek convention next door instead.

        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • G Offline
          G Offline
          George K
          wrote on 14 Jan 2025, 00:16 last edited by
          #968

          Was trying to come up with my own recipe for haggis, but I’m not sure what it entrails.

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • G Offline
            G Offline
            George K
            wrote on 16 Jan 2025, 23:43 last edited by
            #969

            My wife calls me her sex machine all the time.

            Well technically she says "You're a fucking tool" but I get what she means.

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • G Offline
              G Offline
              George K
              wrote on 23 Jan 2025, 01:30 last edited by
              #970

              If I owned a dog daycare I would call it Deez Mutts.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • G Offline
                G Offline
                George K
                wrote on 25 Jan 2025, 23:31 last edited by
                #971

                Bigfoot frequently gets confused for Sasquatch.

                Yeti never complains.

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Online
                  J Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 5 Feb 2025, 02:29 last edited by
                  #972

                  The sweater I was wearing was picking up a lot of static electricity so I brought it back to the store.

                  They gave me a new one free of charge.

                  They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Online
                    J Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 6 Feb 2025, 20:12 last edited by
                    #973

                    I miss those weeks in 2020 when it was illegal for people to come near me.

                    They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Online
                      J Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 11 Feb 2025, 02:45 last edited by
                      #974

                      Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and eggs we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.

                      They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J Online
                        J Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 12 Feb 2025, 16:58 last edited by
                        #975

                        I broke an egg making breakfast today.

                        The insurance company is sending out an adjuster tomorrow.

                        They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J Online
                          J Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 13 Feb 2025, 23:56 last edited by
                          #976

                          I made a mushroom risotto from mushrooms I foraged locally.

                          Not only was it delicious but a Welsh choir of purple elephants sang the whole Bat Out Of Hell album accompanied by a light show.

                          They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Online
                            J Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 18 Feb 2025, 13:26 last edited by
                            #977

                            I signed up for my company’s 401k.

                            I’m a little nervous though. I’ve never run that far before.

                            They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Online
                              J Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 20 Feb 2025, 04:58 last edited by
                              #978

                              My wife complains I don't buy her flowers.

                              To be honest, I didn't even know she sold flowers.

                              They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • J Online
                                J Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 24 Feb 2025, 12:33 last edited by
                                #979

                                I told my wife I want to be cremated.

                                She made an appointment for Tuesday.

                                They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                taiwan_girlT 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2025, 01:22
                                • J jon-nyc
                                  24 Feb 2025, 12:33

                                  I told my wife I want to be cremated.

                                  She made an appointment for Tuesday.

                                  taiwan_girlT Offline
                                  taiwan_girlT Offline
                                  taiwan_girl
                                  wrote on 25 Feb 2025, 01:22 last edited by
                                  #980

                                  @jon-nyc I thought I remembered your joke. 555

                                  https://nodebb.the-new-coffee-room.club/topic/98/so/954?_=1740445895930

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • taiwan_girlT taiwan_girl referenced this topic on 25 Feb 2025, 01:22
                                  • J Online
                                    J Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 25 Feb 2025, 01:46 last edited by
                                    #981

                                    Damn.

                                    They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Online
                                      J Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 17 Mar 2025, 21:07 last edited by
                                      #982

                                      A scammer called me and said he had all my passwords.

                                      I got a pen and said ‘Thank god for that. What are they?’

                                      They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Online
                                        J Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 25 Mar 2025, 22:27 last edited by
                                        #983

                                        If I get sent to jail my wife will bail me out.

                                        She never lets me finish a sentence.

                                        They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • J Online
                                          J Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on 11 Apr 2025, 16:26 last edited by
                                          #984

                                          Best thing about sex with an Amish girl?

                                          She doesn’t expect you to call the next day.

                                          They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups