So....
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@Ivorythumper said in So....:
A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.
Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”
“Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”
“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”
“Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”
Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”
“True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”
And was the Jews who thought it was a good idea to mangle the pecker and remove the nerve ending which make it pleasurable….
You’re making a mountain out of a mohel.
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wrote on 20 Jul 2022, 23:58 last edited by
‘Doctor, doctor! I have five penises!’ ‘Well, then how do your pants fit?’ ‘Like a glove.’
^
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wrote on 21 Jul 2022, 00:45 last edited by
"I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"
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wrote on 29 Jul 2022, 21:23 last edited by Catseye3
"I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently 'a way out' wasn't the right answer."
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"I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently 'a way out' wasn't the right answer."
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wrote on 4 Aug 2022, 15:25 last edited by
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
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wrote on 7 Aug 2022, 15:38 last edited by
My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
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My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
wrote on 7 Aug 2022, 17:33 last edited by -
wrote on 7 Aug 2022, 17:50 last edited by
Shockingly no. I was expecting lots of resistance.
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wrote on 7 Aug 2022, 19:13 last edited by
Ohm my god, another punfest.
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wrote on 7 Aug 2022, 19:48 last edited by
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wrote on 10 Aug 2022, 21:44 last edited by
Go to the animal shelter for a dog and you’re a saint.
Go to the women’s shelter for a new girlfriend and everyone loses their minds.
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wrote on 14 Aug 2022, 15:50 last edited by
I guess this is almost the definition of a dad joke:
Bruce Lee was pretty fast but his brother...
Sudden Lee was even faster.
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wrote on 18 Aug 2022, 10:36 last edited by
Me: One time I farted so long, I thought my butt was going to have to stop to catch its breath.
Interviewer: “….and a weakness?
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Me: One time I farted so long, I thought my butt was going to have to stop to catch its breath.
Interviewer: “….and a weakness?
wrote on 18 Aug 2022, 20:11 last edited by -
wrote on 28 Aug 2022, 12:22 last edited by George K
FIRST TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. This is Saul, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.Morris, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Saul dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Morris then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Saul.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. Saul here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey? It'll be the death of us. -
wrote on 31 Aug 2022, 09:36 last edited by
When I ask how monkeypox is spread, I never get a straight answer.
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wrote on 31 Aug 2022, 13:38 last edited by
Jesus was supposed to be named Brian.
But then Mary stubbed her toe on the desk at the registry office.
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wrote on 4 Sept 2022, 14:50 last edited by
So… apparently it’s “rude” to ask the parents of a kid on a leash if it was a rescue.
