Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse

The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 96.0k Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #707

    At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

    On a related note, I suck at darts.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #708

      My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return it to the store.

      They gave me another one free of charge.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

        My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return it to the store.

        They gave me another one free of charge.

        LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins Dad
        wrote on last edited by
        #709

        @jon-nyc said in So....:

        My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return it to the store.

        They gave me another one free of charge.

        They didn't give you any friction over it?

        The Brad

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #710

          Shockingly no. I was expecting lots of resistance.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
          • Catseye3C Offline
            Catseye3C Offline
            Catseye3
            wrote on last edited by
            #711

            Ohm my god, another punfest.

            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

            George KG 1 Reply Last reply
            • Catseye3C Catseye3

              Ohm my god, another punfest.

              George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #712

              @Catseye3 said in So....:

              Ohm my god, another punfest.

              Yup we have to keep an ion these posts.

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                Shockingly no. I was expecting lots of resistance.

                LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins Dad
                wrote on last edited by
                #713

                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                Shockingly no. I was expecting lots of resistance.

                I guess they decided not to abuse their power.

                The Brad

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #714

                  Go to the animal shelter for a dog and you’re a saint.

                  Go to the women’s shelter for a new girlfriend and everyone loses their minds.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • KlausK Offline
                    KlausK Offline
                    Klaus
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #715

                    I guess this is almost the definition of a dad joke:

                    Bruce Lee was pretty fast but his brother...

                    Sudden Lee was even faster.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #716

                      Me: One time I farted so long, I thought my butt was going to have to stop to catch its breath.

                      Interviewer: “….and a weakness?

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                        Me: One time I farted so long, I thought my butt was going to have to stop to catch its breath.

                        Interviewer: “….and a weakness?

                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                        Aqua Letifer
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #717

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        Me: One time I farted so long, I thought my butt was going to have to stop to catch its breath.

                        Interviewer: “….and a weakness?

                        I overshare.

                        Please love yourself.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by George K
                          #718

                          FIRST TEXT MESSAGE:
                          Hi, Morris. This is Saul, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.

                          Morris, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Saul dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Morris then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Saul.

                          SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
                          Hi, Morris. Saul here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey? It'll be the death of us.

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #719

                            When I ask how monkeypox is spread, I never get a straight answer.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #720

                              Jesus was supposed to be named Brian.

                              But then Mary stubbed her toe on the desk at the registry office.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #721

                                So… apparently it’s “rude” to ask the parents of a kid on a leash if it was a rescue.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #722

                                  I took my grandpa to one of those spas where the fish eat away all the dead tissue.

                                  It cost $150 but it was cheaper than cremation.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • Catseye3C Offline
                                    Catseye3C Offline
                                    Catseye3
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #723

                                    I'm going to let God fix it

                                    71f21ae5-b521-4f58-84b4-4b9e576b2a3a-image.png

                                    Because if I fix it I'm going to jail.

                                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #724

                                      "More and more research shows how horrible sitting is for you. It's really bad. It's like a Paula Deen bacon doughnut." J.A. Jacobs, Author.

                                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                        I took my grandpa to one of those spas where the fish eat away all the dead tissue.

                                        It cost $150 but it was cheaper than cremation.

                                        George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by George K
                                        #725

                                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                        I took my grandpa to one of those spas where the fish eat away all the dead tissue.

                                        It cost $150 but it was cheaper than cremation.

                                        (stealing that one)

                                        My favorite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather.

                                        Until my mother took the urn from me.

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #726

                                          People ask “where’s Bigfoot?”, but they never ask “how’s Bigfoot?”

                                          Yeti never complains.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups