So....

[jon-nyc]

@Ivorythumper said in So....:

@George-K said in So....:

A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.

Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

“Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

“Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”

Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

“True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”

And was the Jews who thought it was a good idea to mangle the pecker and remove the nerve ending which make it pleasurable….

You’re making a mountain out of a mohel.

[Catseye3]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

You’re making a mountain out of a mohel.

Winner of the TNCR Eyeroll Award!

[Catseye3]

‘Doctor, doctor! I have five penises!’ ‘Well, then how do your pants fit?’ ‘Like a glove.’
^

[Catseye3]

"I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"

[Catseye3]

"I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently 'a way out' wasn't the right answer."

[George K]

@Catseye3 said in So....:

"I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently 'a way out' wasn't the right answer."

[jon-nyc]

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

On a related note, I suck at darts.

[jon-nyc]

My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

[LuFins Dad]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

They didn't give you any friction over it?

[jon-nyc]

Shockingly no. I was expecting lots of resistance.

[Catseye3]

Ohm my god, another punfest.

[George K]

@Catseye3 said in So....:

Ohm my god, another punfest.

Yup we have to keep an ion these posts.

[LuFins Dad]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

Shockingly no. I was expecting lots of resistance.

I guess they decided not to abuse their power.

[jon-nyc]

Go to the animal shelter for a dog and you’re a saint.

Go to the women’s shelter for a new girlfriend and everyone loses their minds.

[Klaus]

I guess this is almost the definition of a dad joke:

Bruce Lee was pretty fast but his brother...

Sudden Lee was even faster.

[jon-nyc]

Me: One time I farted so long, I thought my butt was going to have to stop to catch its breath.

Interviewer: “….and a weakness?

[Aqua Letifer]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

Me: One time I farted so long, I thought my butt was going to have to stop to catch its breath.

Interviewer: “….and a weakness?

I overshare.

[George K]

FIRST TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. This is Saul, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.

Morris, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Saul dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Morris then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Saul.

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. Saul here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey? It'll be the death of us.

[jon-nyc]

When I ask how monkeypox is spread, I never get a straight answer.

[jon-nyc]

Jesus was supposed to be named Brian.

But then Mary stubbed her toe on the desk at the registry office.