So....

[jon-nyc]

My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

[Catseye3]

The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

[Catseye3]

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

[jon-nyc]

Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

[jon-nyc]

I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

There are red flags everywhere.

[LuFins Dad]

@Catseye3 said in So....:

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

LOL

[Ivorythumper]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

[jon-nyc]

I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

It’s an oughttobiography.

[Klaus]

This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection .

[Catseye3]

@Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

[George K]

@Klaus said in So....:

This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection .

You misspelled "degenerated."

[Ivorythumper]

@Catseye3 said in So....:

@Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

[George K]

Today, I got gas for $1.89!

Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

[Catseye3]

@Ivorythumper I'm happy to take your word for it. I don't even remember it that well.

Also, I'm horribly uncritical about movies. It takes a very low bar for me to actually dislike a movie, so I'm probably not a great judge.

[jon-nyc]

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

[George K]

@jon-nyc ...

[jon-nyc]

My grandfather was responsible for 35 downed German planes in WW-2.

Still to this day holds the record for the worst mechanic ever in the history of the Luftwaffe.

[jon-nyc]

Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

[Klaus]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

This photo captures my reaction to this joke pretty well.

[jon-nyc]

Every time I go to the beach in my bathing suit, I can feel all the women dressing me with their eyes.