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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
    #535

    I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

    But she’s digging in her heels.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
      #536

      My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.

      If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.

      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • C Offline
        C Offline
        Catseye3
        wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
        #537

        The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

        1 Reply Last reply
        • C Offline
          C Offline
          Catseye3
          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
          #538

          Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

          😖

          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

          L 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 11:46
          • J Offline
            J Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
            #539

            Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”

            Thank you for your attention to this matter.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Offline
              J Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
              #540

              I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.

              There are red flags everywhere.

              Thank you for your attention to this matter.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • C Catseye3
                23 Feb 2022, 21:33

                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                😖

                L Offline
                L Offline
                LuFins Dad
                wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
                #541

                @Catseye3 said in So....:

                Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

                😖

                LOL

                The Brad

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J jon-nyc
                  20 Feb 2022, 16:07

                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                  I Offline
                  I Offline
                  Ivorythumper
                  wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by
                  #542

                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                  When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                  When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                  One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                  C 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:12
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 11:49 last edited by
                    #543

                    I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.

                    It’s an oughttobiography.

                    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • K Offline
                      K Offline
                      Klaus
                      wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:11 last edited by
                      #544

                      This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                      G 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 12:49
                      • I Ivorythumper
                        24 Feb 2022, 18:52

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                        When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                        One of the worst westerns, but you're pranking them, right?

                        C Offline
                        C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:12 last edited by
                        #545

                        @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        I 1 Reply Last reply 25 Feb 2022, 13:16
                        • K Klaus
                          25 Feb 2022, 12:11

                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                          G Offline
                          G Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:49 last edited by
                          #546

                          @Klaus said in So....:

                          This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection 🙂 .

                          You misspelled "degenerated."

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • C Catseye3
                            25 Feb 2022, 12:12

                            @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                            I Offline
                            I Offline
                            Ivorythumper
                            wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 13:16 last edited by
                            #547

                            @Catseye3 said in So....:

                            @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                            It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                            Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                            C 1 Reply Last reply 26 Feb 2022, 00:12
                            • G Offline
                              G Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 23:37 last edited by
                              #548

                              Today, I got gas for $1.89!

                              Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • I Ivorythumper
                                25 Feb 2022, 13:16

                                @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                @Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.

                                It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.

                                Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Catseye3
                                wrote on 26 Feb 2022, 00:12 last edited by
                                #549

                                @Ivorythumper I'm happy to take your word for it. I don't even remember it that well.

                                Also, I'm horribly uncritical about movies. It takes a very low bar for me to actually dislike a movie, so I'm probably not a great judge.

                                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 28 Feb 2022, 17:23 last edited by
                                  #550

                                  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

                                  But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

                                  Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                  G 1 Reply Last reply 28 Feb 2022, 18:11
                                  • J jon-nyc
                                    28 Feb 2022, 17:23

                                    Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

                                    But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.

                                    G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on 28 Feb 2022, 18:11 last edited by
                                    #551

                                    @jon-nyc ...

                                    alt text

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 2 Mar 2022, 17:51 last edited by
                                      #552

                                      My grandfather was responsible for 35 downed German planes in WW-2.

                                      Still to this day holds the record for the worst mechanic ever in the history of the Luftwaffe.

                                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 2 Mar 2022, 19:19 last edited by
                                        #553

                                        Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

                                        Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

                                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                        K 1 Reply Last reply 2 Mar 2022, 19:25
                                        • J jon-nyc
                                          2 Mar 2022, 19:19

                                          Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

                                          Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

                                          K Offline
                                          K Offline
                                          Klaus
                                          wrote on 2 Mar 2022, 19:25 last edited by
                                          #554

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.

                                          Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.

                                          This photo captures my reaction to this joke pretty well.
                                          0f357660-edd8-437f-a027-5924d2e0089f-image.png

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