So....
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wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.
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wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 02:39 last edited by
I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.
But she’s digging in her heels.
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wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 20:51 last edited by
My ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her right thigh.
If you put your left ear against it you could smell the sea.
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wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:23 last edited by
The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.
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wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 21:33 last edited by
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
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wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 09:46 last edited by
Next time a stranger takes a seat next to you in a public place, stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”
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wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 10:49 last edited by
I’m worried my new girlfriend might be a communist.
There are red flags everywhere.
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wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 11:46 last edited by
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When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.
When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.
wrote on 24 Feb 2022, 18:52 last edited by -
wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 11:49 last edited by
I’m writing a new book about the things I should be doing in life.
It’s an oughttobiography.
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wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:11 last edited by
This thread seems to evolve into a "worst dad joke" collection
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wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 12:12 last edited by
@Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.
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@Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.
wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 13:16 last edited by@Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.
It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.
Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.
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wrote on 25 Feb 2022, 23:37 last edited by
Today, I got gas for $1.89!
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
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@Ivorythumper It's a worst western if you think of it as a Western. It's really a story that is set in the West -- that's different.
It’s a great story— Glen Campbell, and the pace, and the cinematography ruin it — it’s painful to watch.
Compare it to the 2010 Coen version, which is a masterpiece.
wrote on 26 Feb 2022, 00:12 last edited by@Ivorythumper I'm happy to take your word for it. I don't even remember it that well.
Also, I'm horribly uncritical about movies. It takes a very low bar for me to actually dislike a movie, so I'm probably not a great judge.
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wrote on 28 Feb 2022, 17:23 last edited by
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.
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Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
But then so was yesterday and look at how you fucked that up.
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wrote on 2 Mar 2022, 17:51 last edited by
My grandfather was responsible for 35 downed German planes in WW-2.
Still to this day holds the record for the worst mechanic ever in the history of the Luftwaffe.
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wrote on 2 Mar 2022, 19:19 last edited by
Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 fatty acids at me.
Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.
