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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 93.4k Views
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  • George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #516

    Did you hear that the US Olympic bobsled team put a picture of Joe Biden on the front of their bobsled?

    Yeah, they figured nothing can make America go downhill faster.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #517

      So… I’m currently in a love triangle.

      I love this girl, she loves nobody, and nobody loves me.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #518

        I don't really like cocaine, I just love the way it smells.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
          #519

          Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. The loser had wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #520

            I just landed a senior role at Old McDonalds farm.

            I’m the CIEIO.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #521

              What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

              In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all a scam.

              In a religion, that guy is dead.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #522

                During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #523

                  I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

                  They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                    During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                    When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                    AxtremusA Away
                    AxtremusA Away
                    Axtremus
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #524

                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                    During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                    When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                    The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
                    Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #525

                      When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                      When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #526

                        I sold my vacuum the other day.

                        All it was doing was collecting dust.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #527

                          It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                            I sold my vacuum the other day.

                            All it was doing was collecting dust.

                            George KG Offline
                            George KG Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #528

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            sold my vacuum the other day.
                            All it was doing was collecting dust.

                            A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

                            @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #529

                              Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #530

                                Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                                Imagine all the people…

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #531

                                  Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #532

                                    Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                                    Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #533

                                      After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                                      I’m now officially buysexual.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #534

                                        The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #535

                                          I told my wife that the shoes she’s wearing are inappropriate for gardening.

                                          But she’s digging in her heels.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
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