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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 15 Feb 2022, 23:52 last edited by
    #515

    How do you get a gender studies major off your doorstep?

    Pay for the fucking pizza.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • G Offline
      G Offline
      George K
      wrote on 16 Feb 2022, 12:18 last edited by
      #516

      Did you hear that the US Olympic bobsled team put a picture of Joe Biden on the front of their bobsled?

      Yeah, they figured nothing can make America go downhill faster.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Offline
        J Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 04:34 last edited by
        #517

        So… I’m currently in a love triangle.

        I love this girl, she loves nobody, and nobody loves me.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 22:47 last edited by
          #518

          I don't really like cocaine, I just love the way it smells.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Offline
            J Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 22:53 last edited by jon-nyc
            #519

            Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. The loser had wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Offline
              J Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 17 Feb 2022, 23:58 last edited by
              #520

              I just landed a senior role at Old McDonalds farm.

              I’m the CIEIO.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Offline
                J Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 09:29 last edited by
                #521

                What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

                In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all a scam.

                In a religion, that guy is dead.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:32 last edited by
                  #522

                  During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                  When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  A 1 Reply Last reply 20 Feb 2022, 15:40
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:38 last edited by
                    #523

                    I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

                    They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J jon-nyc
                      20 Feb 2022, 15:32

                      During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                      When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                      A Away
                      A Away
                      Axtremus
                      wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 15:40 last edited by
                      #524

                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                      During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                      When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                      The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
                      Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J Offline
                        J Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 16:07 last edited by
                        #525

                        When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                        When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        I 1 Reply Last reply 24 Feb 2022, 18:52
                        • J Offline
                          J Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 20 Feb 2022, 23:44 last edited by
                          #526

                          I sold my vacuum the other day.

                          All it was doing was collecting dust.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          G 1 Reply Last reply 21 Feb 2022, 01:23
                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:21 last edited by
                            #527

                            It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J jon-nyc
                              20 Feb 2022, 23:44

                              I sold my vacuum the other day.

                              All it was doing was collecting dust.

                              G Offline
                              G Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:23 last edited by
                              #528

                              @jon-nyc said in So....:

                              sold my vacuum the other day.
                              All it was doing was collecting dust.

                              A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

                              @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • J Offline
                                J Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 01:57 last edited by
                                #529

                                Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 14:17 last edited by
                                  #530

                                  Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                                  Imagine all the people…

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Larry
                                    wrote on 21 Feb 2022, 17:25 last edited by
                                    #531

                                    Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:24 last edited by
                                      #532

                                      Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                                      Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 22 Feb 2022, 18:28 last edited by
                                        #533

                                        After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                                        I’m now officially buysexual.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 23 Feb 2022, 00:26 last edited by
                                          #534

                                          The young couple next door to me are making a sex tape , only they don't know it yet.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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                                          20 Feb 2022, 15:40


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