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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 96.2k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #514

    I’m so unlucky when it comes to love….

    I asked a blind girl out yesterday and she told me she was seeing somebody.

    "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
    -Cormac McCarthy

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #515

      How do you get a gender studies major off your doorstep?

      Pay for the fucking pizza.

      "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
      -Cormac McCarthy

      1 Reply Last reply
      • George KG Offline
        George KG Offline
        George K
        wrote on last edited by
        #516

        Did you hear that the US Olympic bobsled team put a picture of Joe Biden on the front of their bobsled?

        Yeah, they figured nothing can make America go downhill faster.

        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #517

          So… I’m currently in a love triangle.

          I love this girl, she loves nobody, and nobody loves me.

          "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
          -Cormac McCarthy

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #518

            I don't really like cocaine, I just love the way it smells.

            "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
            -Cormac McCarthy

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
              #519

              Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. The loser had wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.

              "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
              -Cormac McCarthy

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #520

                I just landed a senior role at Old McDonalds farm.

                I’m the CIEIO.

                "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                -Cormac McCarthy

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #521

                  What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?

                  In a cult, there’s a guy at the top who knows it’s all a scam.

                  In a religion, that guy is dead.

                  "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                  -Cormac McCarthy

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #522

                    During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                    When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                    "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                    -Cormac McCarthy

                    AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #523

                      I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan.

                      They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

                      "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                      -Cormac McCarthy

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                        During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                        When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                        AxtremusA Offline
                        AxtremusA Offline
                        Axtremus
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #524

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        During a recent password audit, a blonde woman was discovered to have the password “MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyDeweyLouisDonaldDaffySacramento”

                        When asked why she said “they said it needed to be eight characters and a capital”.

                        The eight characters are fine but Sacramento is too correct.
                        Perhaps make it Los Angeles or San Francisco or New York City.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #525

                          When I’m bored I’ll call the local Best Western hotel.

                          When they pick up the phone and say “Best Western,” I say “True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up.

                          "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                          -Cormac McCarthy

                          IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #526

                            I sold my vacuum the other day.

                            All it was doing was collecting dust.

                            "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                            -Cormac McCarthy

                            George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #527

                              It's not that I like cocaine, really. I just love the way it smells.

                              "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                              -Cormac McCarthy

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                I sold my vacuum the other day.

                                All it was doing was collecting dust.

                                George KG Offline
                                George KG Offline
                                George K
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #528

                                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                sold my vacuum the other day.
                                All it was doing was collecting dust.

                                A tip of the virtual hat to everyone here who didn't descend into the "sucks" jokes.

                                @Aqua-s-Sister , I'm NOT looking at you.

                                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #529

                                  Queen Pasiphae of Crete gave birth to the Minotaur, violating Bart Simpson's famous maxim "Don't have a cow-man"

                                  "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                  -Cormac McCarthy

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #530

                                    Heavy storm over Liverpool today so they canceled all flights in and out of John Lennon Airport.

                                    Imagine all the people…

                                    "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                    -Cormac McCarthy

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #531

                                      Did you hear about the blonde who divorced her husband because she got pregnant and didn't believe she was the mother?

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #532

                                        Chess players think checkers players are dumb, but I love checkers.

                                        Besides, the red ones are tasty.

                                        "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                        -Cormac McCarthy

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #533

                                          After years of bad luck with the opposite sex, I’m changing my sexual orientation.

                                          I’m now officially buysexual.

                                          "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                          -Cormac McCarthy

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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