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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • MikM Offline
    MikM Offline
    Mik
    wrote on last edited by
    #1030

    A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”
    The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?”
    The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat 🐀. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano 🎹.
    The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and starts playing the blues like a rodent Ray Charles. 🎶
    Stunned, the bartender pours him a free drink 🍺.
    After finishing it, the guy says, “Now, if I show you an even better trick, do I drink free all night?”
    “Buddy, if you can top that, you’re drinking on me till closing,” the bartender replies.
    The man pulls the rat and piano out again, and this time reaches into his coat and pulls out… a small bullfrog 🐸.
    The frog clears his throat and starts belting out soulful blues lyrics. The rat’s playing, the frog’s singing — the bar is dead silent in awe.
    Suddenly, a man rushes up and says, “I’ll give you $10,000 for that frog!”
    The guy says, “Nope, not for sale.”
    “$25,000!”
    “Nope.”
    “$50,000! Cash!”
    “Deal.” 💵
    The bartender’s jaw drops. “Are you CRAZY? That frog was a gold mine! Why’d you sell him?”
    The man smirks and says, “Relax. The frog can’t sing... the rat’s a ventriloquist.” 😎🎤🐀

    "You cannot subsidize irresponsibility and expect people to become more responsible." — Thomas Sowell

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #1031

      Lol

      The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #1032

        I saw a bird eating avocado toast.

        I guess it was some sort of millennial falcon.

        The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #1033

          I just turned wine into vomit.

          Your move, Jesus.

          The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #1034

            My wife asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.

            Apparently “Don’t worry, honey, your tits cover it” wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

            The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #1035

              I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

              Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

              The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

              Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
              • HoraceH Offline
                HoraceH Offline
                Horace
                wrote on last edited by
                #1036

                Link to video

                Education is extremely important.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #1037

                  Rectal Grease went and complained to HR and now we can't use nicknames at work anymore...

                  The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                    I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                    Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                    Doctor Phibes
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #1038

                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                    I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

                    Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

                    Recent evidence suggest that a barrel full of monkeys is not half as much fun as previously claimed, and is, in fact, rather horrifying!

                    I was only joking

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #1039

                      What’s the difference between a dollar and a pound?

                      I don’t dollar your mom.

                      The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #1040

                        My dad said to me “Do something you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

                        He was right. I majored in philosophy and have been unemployed since.

                        The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote last edited by
                          #1041

                          I got the wife tested for Tourette’s Syndrome and she came back negative.

                          Turns out I am a cunt and she does want me to fuck off.

                          The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                            People’s IQ should be presented like the weather.

                            Actual IQ: 105
                            Feels like: 82

                            LuFins DadL Offline
                            LuFins DadL Offline
                            LuFins Dad
                            wrote last edited by
                            #1042

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            People’s IQ should be presented like the weather.

                            Actual IQ: 105
                            Feels like: 82

                            :spittake:

                            The Brad

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote last edited by
                              #1043

                              I finally got to see my doctor on Monday and showed her the rash on my scrotum.

                              She just ignored me and kept pushing her cart through Costco.

                              The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote last edited by jon-nyc
                                #1044

                                The good news about erectile dysfunction is it can be cured with a good diet and exercise.

                                The hard part is getting your wife to actually do it.

                                The whole reason we call them illegal aliens is because they’re subject to our laws.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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