So....
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wrote on 13 Apr 2025, 16:48 last edited by
The doctor told me I had to quit masturbating. I asked her why. She said “because you’re in the middle of a prostate exam, asshole”
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wrote on 13 Apr 2025, 18:28 last edited by
Someone just told me Einstein was a real person.
And all this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
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wrote on 13 Apr 2025, 19:58 last edited by
You know dynamite was invented by Alfred Nobel.
At first he didn't have a name for it; then it blew his house up and he said, this stuff's dynamite.Someone just threw Chinese soup at me.
It was won-ton violence. -
wrote on 14 Apr 2025, 17:57 last edited by
I thought my new girlfriend might be 'The One'.
But after looking through her underwear drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French Maid's outfit and a Policewoman uniform I've decided, if she can't hold down a job, she's not the right one for me.
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wrote on 20 Apr 2025, 08:10 last edited by
So… one of my testicles hangs lower than the other two.
Is this normal?
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wrote 28 days ago last edited by
Yesterday I didn't take a nap.
Pulled an all-dayer.
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wrote 24 days ago last edited by
12 years ago today my friend Dave came out running and screaming “IT’S A BOY!!!” with tears streaming down his face.
We’ve never been back to Thailand since.
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wrote 23 days ago last edited by
Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer.
One of the guys remarks to the other,
"Boy, you look tired!"
His friend replies, "Dude, I'm exhausted. My girlfriend wants to make love all the time - three, four, sometimes even six times a night! She wakes me up at all hours. I don't know what to do!"
An old gentleman in his seventies, sitting a few bar stools down, overhears their conversation.
He looked over at the two men and, showing the wisdom of his age, says,
"Marry her, that'll put an end to that nonsense!"
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wrote 23 days ago last edited by
Lol
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wrote 23 days ago last edited by jon-nyc
I want my kid to have everything I couldn’t afford.
Then I want to move in with him.
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wrote 20 days ago last edited by
I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for quality or training purposes.
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wrote 17 days ago last edited by
I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.
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wrote 17 days ago last edited by
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wrote 17 days ago last edited by
The only time I ever get asked for sex is on medical forms.
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wrote 11 days ago last edited by
Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs aren’t one of them.
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wrote 11 days ago last edited by
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wrote 4 days ago last edited by
I’ve gotten quite good at ventriloquism recently.
Scared the shit out of my urologist the other day.
