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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #990

    Yesterday I didn't take a nap.

    Pulled an all-dayer.

    They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #991

      12 years ago today my friend Dave came out running and screaming “IT’S A BOY!!!” with tears streaming down his face.

      We’ve never been back to Thailand since.

      They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • MikM Away
        MikM Away
        Mik
        wrote on last edited by
        #992

        Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer.

        One of the guys remarks to the other,

        "Boy, you look tired!"

        His friend replies, "Dude, I'm exhausted. My girlfriend wants to make love all the time - three, four, sometimes even six times a night! She wakes me up at all hours. I don't know what to do!"

        An old gentleman in his seventies, sitting a few bar stools down, overhears their conversation.

        He looked over at the two men and, showing the wisdom of his age, says,

        "Marry her, that'll put an end to that nonsense!"

        "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #993

          Lol

          They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
            #994

            I want my kid to have everything I couldn’t afford.

            Then I want to move in with him.

            They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #995

              I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for quality or training purposes.

              They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #996

                I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.

                They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                  I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.

                  LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins Dad
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #997

                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                  I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.

                  I always wonder what Will did to make the the Army always fire at him.

                  The Brad

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #998

                    The only time I ever get asked for sex is on medical forms.

                    They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #999

                      Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs aren’t one of them.

                      They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                      taiwan_girlT 1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                        Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs aren’t one of them.

                        taiwan_girlT Offline
                        taiwan_girlT Offline
                        taiwan_girl
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #1000

                        @jon-nyc 😆 😆

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #1001

                          I’ve gotten quite good at ventriloquism recently.

                          Scared the shit out of my urologist the other day.

                          They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • MikM Away
                            MikM Away
                            Mik
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #1002

                            The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

                            The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

                            The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

                            Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

                            The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
                            "What is your SECOND request?"

                            The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

                            As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

                            Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
                            She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

                            The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
                            "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

                            The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

                            The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

                            Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
                            "Listen Very Carefully!!!
                            "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
                            "BRING POSSE"

                            "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

                            LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #1003

                              Everyone told Sam not to sing.

                              But Samsung anyway.

                              They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • MikM Mik

                                The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

                                The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

                                The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

                                Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

                                The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
                                "What is your SECOND request?"

                                The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

                                As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

                                Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
                                She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

                                The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
                                "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

                                The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

                                The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

                                Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
                                "Listen Very Carefully!!!
                                "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
                                "BRING POSSE"

                                LuFins DadL Offline
                                LuFins DadL Offline
                                LuFins Dad
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #1004

                                @Mik said in So....:

                                The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

                                The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

                                The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

                                Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

                                The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
                                "What is your SECOND request?"

                                The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

                                As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

                                Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
                                She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

                                The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
                                "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

                                The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

                                The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

                                Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
                                "Listen Very Carefully!!!
                                "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
                                "BRING POSSE"

                                The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town after a long and hot ride across the desert. The horses were overheated, so Kemosabe told Tonto to run around the horses to generate a breeze while he went into the tavern to get them all something to drink.

                                The masked lawman was waiting at the bar for two beers and two buckets of water when a guy came into the bar and yelled “Hey! Is that your white horse out there?” The Lone Ranger replied “Sure is, is there a problem?” The guy responded “No, but you left your Injun running”

                                The Brad

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #1005

                                  It’s been a pretty weird day today. First I found a hat full of money. Then I got chased by an angry man with a guitar.

                                  They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #1006

                                    A journey of a thousand miles begins with an argument on the way to the airport.

                                    They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #1007

                                      If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                                      They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                      KlausK 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #1008

                                        Me: It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up.

                                        Cop: Sir, that’s not how field sobriety tests work.

                                        They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                          If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                                          KlausK Offline
                                          KlausK Offline
                                          Klaus
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #1009

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                                          Good one!

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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