So....
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The doctor told me I had to quit masturbating. I asked her why. She said “because you’re in the middle of a prostate exam, asshole”
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Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer.
One of the guys remarks to the other,
"Boy, you look tired!"
His friend replies, "Dude, I'm exhausted. My girlfriend wants to make love all the time - three, four, sometimes even six times a night! She wakes me up at all hours. I don't know what to do!"
An old gentleman in his seventies, sitting a few bar stools down, overhears their conversation.
He looked over at the two men and, showing the wisdom of his age, says,
"Marry her, that'll put an end to that nonsense!"
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The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request?"The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
"Listen Very Carefully!!!
"FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
"BRING POSSE"“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill
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The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request?"The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
"Listen Very Carefully!!!
"FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
"BRING POSSE"The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request?"The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
"Listen Very Carefully!!!
"FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
"BRING POSSE"The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town after a long and hot ride across the desert. The horses were overheated, so Kemosabe told Tonto to run around the horses to generate a breeze while he went into the tavern to get them all something to drink.
The masked lawman was waiting at the bar for two beers and two buckets of water when a guy came into the bar and yelled “Hey! Is that your white horse out there?” The Lone Ranger replied “Sure is, is there a problem?” The guy responded “No, but you left your Injun running”
