So....

[George K]

If I owned a dog daycare I would call it Deez Mutts.

[George K]

Bigfoot frequently gets confused for Sasquatch.

Yeti never complains.

[jon-nyc]

The sweater I was wearing was picking up a lot of static electricity so I brought it back to the store.

They gave me a new one free of charge.

[jon-nyc]

I miss those weeks in 2020 when it was illegal for people to come near me.

[jon-nyc]

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and eggs we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.

[jon-nyc]

I broke an egg making breakfast today.

The insurance company is sending out an adjuster tomorrow.

[jon-nyc]

I made a mushroom risotto from mushrooms I foraged locally.

Not only was it delicious but a Welsh choir of purple elephants sang the whole Bat Out Of Hell album accompanied by a light show.

[jon-nyc]

I signed up for my company’s 401k.

I’m a little nervous though. I’ve never run that far before.

[jon-nyc]

My wife complains I don't buy her flowers.

To be honest, I didn't even know she sold flowers.

[jon-nyc]

I told my wife I want to be cremated.

She made an appointment for Tuesday.

[taiwan_girl]

@jon-nyc I thought I remembered your joke. 555

https://nodebb.the-new-coffee-room.club/topic/98/so/954?_=1740445895930