So....
-
wrote on 2 Jun 2023, 12:00 last edited by
I can't believe my girlfriend has dumped me just because I don't know how to read proper nouns correctly.
She went off to work and left me a note saying, Nail polish cleaner.
So I did. From behind.
And now I'm single.
-
wrote on 19 Jun 2023, 15:26 last edited by
-
wrote on 24 Jun 2023, 16:07 last edited by
California was the first state to make it illegal to smoke cigarettes indoors. Ever since then, the whole state has been on fire. -- Comic Tommy Drake
-
wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 01:27 last edited by
So,
-
So,
wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 01:37 last edited by -
wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 01:44 last edited by
@Jon LOL
-
wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 11:54 last edited by
I dropped my glasses in the toilet.
Now I can’t see shit.
-
wrote on 26 Jul 2023, 14:14 last edited by
I saw a microbiologist today.
He was much bigger than I expected.
-
wrote on 31 Jul 2023, 00:27 last edited by
People are moaning about the weather.
At least it’s not snowing.
Imagine shoveling snow in this heat!
-
wrote on 15 Aug 2023, 22:20 last edited by
There's nothing like putting on a warm pair of underwear fresh from the dryer.
Plus its fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.
-
wrote on 20 Aug 2023, 11:21 last edited by
It occurred to me that in order to not expose his identity, Batman was either driving the Batmobile uninsured or committing insurance fraud.
-
wrote on 27 Aug 2023, 12:54 last edited by
-
wrote on 27 Aug 2023, 16:45 last edited by
Cop: you were going extremely fast
Me: I was just trying to keep up with traffic.
Cop: But there isn’t any
Me: that’s how far behind I was.
-
wrote on 8 Sept 2023, 00:45 last edited by
Me: Welcome to my man cave
Proctologist: Please stop calling it that
-
wrote on 10 Sept 2023, 22:23 last edited by
My wife says I’m a sex machine.
Actually, she says I'm a "fucking tool" but I know what she means.
-
wrote on 12 Sept 2023, 21:25 last edited by
-
wrote on 18 Sept 2023, 19:41 last edited by
My friend Dwayne recently moved to Africa.
I miss Dwayne, down in Africa.
-
wrote on 29 Sept 2023, 12:12 last edited by jon-nyc
I ordered a new axe from overseas.
I always thought it would be cool to have a foreign axe sent.
-
wrote on 2 Oct 2023, 13:00 last edited by
He: My girlfriend started smoking. What should I do?
His Friend: Slow down and use lube.
