So....

[jon-nyc]

@lufins-dad

It's not true, though, you've been feta lie.

[LuFins Dad]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

@lufins-dad

It's not true, though, you've been feta lie.

Hey, That’s nacho cheese pun! It’s mine!

[LuFins Dad]

Admit it, your password is Let5g08rand0n!

[jon-nyc]

After I went bald I still kept my comb.

I just can’t part with it.

[jon-nyc]

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.

[jon-nyc]

According to my chocolate Advent calendar, there are only 3 more days until Christmas.

[jon-nyc]

I had a cross-eyed girlfriend once. It didn’t work out though, we just couldn’t see eye to eye.

Plus, I think she was seeing someone on the side.

[jon-nyc]

I was going to take one of those Viking River cruises but then I found out you don’t get to loot villages and monasteries along the way.

[Catseye3]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

According to my chocolate Advent calendar, there are only 3 more days until Christmas.

[George K]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

I was going to take one of those Viking River cruises but then I found out you don’t get to loot villages and monasteries along the way.

[jon-nyc]

I’m told watching tropical fish can have a relaxing effect on the brain.

It’s because of the indoor fins.

[George K]

Why did the Italian boy try to grow a mustache?

So he could look like his mama.

[Larry]

@george-k said in So....:

Why did the Italian boy try to grow a mustache?

So he could look like his mama.

Cold.

[jon-nyc]

Walmart is giving out free turkeys to anyone who can outrun security.

[jon-nyc]

What’s worse than your girlfriend sending you a break-up text?

A follow-up text saying ‘Sorry, that wasn’t for you.’

[George K]

Apologies if I posted this earlier.

Q: What's the difference between babies and cats?

A: When you get tired of carrying a baby, you can't just drop it on the floor.

[Ivorythumper]

so….

I told my psychiatrist about my fear of palindromes and he put me on Xanax.

[George K]

@ivorythumper stealing that one....

[jon-nyc]

@george-k said in So....:

Apologies if I posted this earlier.

Q: What's the difference between babies and cats?

A: When you get tired of carrying a baby, you can't just drop it on the floor.

Sez who???

[jon-nyc]

Between Saving Private Ryan ($70 MM), Interstellar
($165 MM), and The Martian ($108 MM), America has spent nearly $350 million trying to rescue Matt Damon.