So....
-
Cable guy was on my street today and asked me what time it is.
I said it’s between 9am and 1pm.
-
I walked through a corn maze yesterday. I felt like I was being stalked.
It was earie.
-
Edam is the only cheese that is made backwards.
-
It's not true, though, you've been feta lie.
-
It's not true, though, you've been feta lie.
Hey, That’s nacho cheese pun! It’s mine!
-
Admit it, your password is Let5g08rand0n!
-
After I went bald I still kept my comb.
I just can’t part with it.
-
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.
-
According to my chocolate Advent calendar, there are only 3 more days until Christmas.
-
I had a cross-eyed girlfriend once. It didn’t work out though, we just couldn’t see eye to eye.
Plus, I think she was seeing someone on the side.
-
I was going to take one of those Viking River cruises but then I found out you don’t get to loot villages and monasteries along the way.
-
I’m told watching tropical fish can have a relaxing effect on the brain.
It’s because of the indoor fins.