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Sometimes I rub my hands through my wife’s hair. It’s a good way to let her know I love her.
And that we’re out of napkins.
This month I will be take your phone out and take a picture of the label then blow it up so I can read it years old....
Everybody who's here for the yodeling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly line...
@larry said in So....:
Good one, Larry. Will be sharing this.
What does sex and the military have in common?
You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….
(Maybe too soon)
@xenon said in So....:
What does sex and the military have in common? You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….
Perfect.
I tried drag racing the other day.
It was BRUTAL running in those heels......
So...
I was captured by a mime...
He did unspeakable things to me....
I don’t always roll a joint.
But when I do it’s my ankle.
So I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.
How the hell am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?
When I was younger, I thought "Drink Responsibly" meant don't spill it.
@catseye3 said in So....:
In retrospect, hiding the microchips in the horse dewormer was brilliant.
The women of king Arthur’s court must have been happy….
….they Camelot.
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyathinkhesaurus.
I went to a zoo the other day.
It only had one animal.
A dog.
It was a shitzu.
So I was at the bar last night and the waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?"
I said, "Hell, I know the entire alphabet."
Everyone laughed . . . well, everyone except this one guy.
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one: they are very efficient and have no sense of humour.
I just turned wine into vomit.
Your move, Jesus.
Did you hear about Xerox and Wurlitzer merging? They are going to focus on reproductive organs.
