So....

[jon-nyc]

I just turned wine into vomit.

Your move, Jesus.

[jon-nyc]

My wife asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.

Apparently “Don’t worry, honey, your tits cover it” wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

[jon-nyc]

I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

[Horace]

Link to video

[jon-nyc]

Rectal Grease went and complained to HR and now we can't use nicknames at work anymore...

[Doctor Phibes]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

I’ve opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms.

Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

Recent evidence suggest that a barrel full of monkeys is not half as much fun as previously claimed, and is, in fact, rather horrifying!

[jon-nyc]

What’s the difference between a dollar and a pound?

I don’t dollar your mom.

[jon-nyc]

My dad said to me “Do something you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

He was right. I majored in philosophy and have been unemployed since.

[jon-nyc]

I got the wife tested for Tourette’s Syndrome and she came back negative.

Turns out I am a cunt and she does want me to fuck off.

[LuFins Dad]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

People’s IQ should be presented like the weather.

Actual IQ: 105
Feels like: 82

:spittake: