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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. Dear Self,...

Dear Self,...

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  • HoraceH Horace

    All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

    Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua Letifer
    wrote on last edited by
    #6

    @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

    All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

    It depends on how rigidly it's defined. There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

    Please love yourself.

    Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
    • HoraceH Horace

      All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

      89th8 Offline
      89th8 Offline
      89th
      wrote on last edited by
      #7

      @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

      All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

      Good point. I really wanted to "make movies" when I was in high school, but I learned relatively soon after that it's more realistic to get a decent paying job that I don't mind (and coworker who I enjoy, which is important IMO) so that it enables my passions, whether that is photography, travel, movies, golf, etc.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • JollyJ Jolly

        The comments are pretty interesting, too.

        Link to video

        89th8 Offline
        89th8 Offline
        89th
        wrote on last edited by
        #8

        @Jolly said in Dear Self,...:

        The comments are pretty interesting, too.

        Agreed.

        Such as this one: "It’s not a mistake to retire, it’s a mistake to stop living just bc you’re not working"

        I think it depends on your personality. I've mentioned before how I told my wife I want to retire as early as possible, who knows when but my goal right now is 57, maybe earlier. She said "won't you get bored?" and I would never. I have so many books I want to read, movies, shows, golf, travel, swimming... heck I'd be happy getting a massage and then watching sports at the local pub. I would NEVER get bored if I was able to stop working. I'd volunteer for little leagues and umpire. Who cares! So much to do, so little time.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

          @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

          All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

          It depends on how rigidly it's defined. There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

          Doctor PhibesD Offline
          Doctor PhibesD Offline
          Doctor Phibes
          wrote on last edited by
          #9

          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

          There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

          That's not really following your passion, though.

          Also, as somebody else once said (I might be paraphrasing), music is a wonderful pastime but a terrible career, at least for most people.

          I was only joking

          Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
          • MikM Offline
            MikM Offline
            Mik
            wrote on last edited by
            #10

            I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

            “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

            Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
            • MikM Mik

              I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

              Doctor PhibesD Offline
              Doctor PhibesD Offline
              Doctor Phibes
              wrote on last edited by
              #11

              @Mik said in Dear Self,...:

              I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

              They call it 'work' for a reason. If it was any different, they'd call it 'fun' and charge admission.

              I was only joking

              1 Reply Last reply
              • HoraceH Offline
                HoraceH Offline
                Horace
                wrote on last edited by
                #12

                I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                Education is extremely important.

                Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                • MikM Offline
                  MikM Offline
                  Mik
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #13

                  Yeah, healthcare has provided no end of avenues for me. These days I do a lot more problem solving project guidance than hands on tech work.

                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • HoraceH Horace

                    I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                    Doctor Phibes
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #14

                    @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                    I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                    It's funny, when I graduated I really wanted to be a programmer. I went to a couple of interviews, and in both cases passed the aptitude test - I must have shown something as they selected about 5 people out of 100 both times. Then, in both cases I failed to get offered a job, presumably due to my admittedly completely woeful social skills at that time.

                    So ever since then I've had to live with the stigma of not having good enough social skills to be a computer programmer. And now I'm a manager 😆

                    I was only joking

                    HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply
                    • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                      @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                      I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                      It's funny, when I graduated I really wanted to be a programmer. I went to a couple of interviews, and in both cases passed the aptitude test - I must have shown something as they selected about 5 people out of 100 both times. Then, in both cases I failed to get offered a job, presumably due to my admittedly completely woeful social skills at that time.

                      So ever since then I've had to live with the stigma of not having good enough social skills to be a computer programmer. And now I'm a manager 😆

                      HoraceH Offline
                      HoraceH Offline
                      Horace
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #15

                      @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                      Education is extremely important.

                      MikM 1 Reply Last reply
                      • HoraceH Horace

                        @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                        MikM Offline
                        MikM Offline
                        Mik
                        wrote on last edited by Mik
                        #16

                        @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                        @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                        And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                        “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                        Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                        • MikM Mik

                          @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                          @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                          And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                          Doctor PhibesD Offline
                          Doctor PhibesD Offline
                          Doctor Phibes
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #17

                          @Mik said in Dear Self,...:

                          @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                          @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                          And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                          To be fair, my social skills have improved a lot in the last 40 years.

                          And anybody who says otherwise can go fuck themselves!

                          I was only joking

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                            @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                            There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                            That's not really following your passion, though.

                            Also, as somebody else once said (I might be paraphrasing), music is a wonderful pastime but a terrible career, at least for most people.

                            Aqua LetiferA Offline
                            Aqua LetiferA Offline
                            Aqua Letifer
                            wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                            #18

                            @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                            @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                            There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                            That's not really following your passion, though.

                            "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                            And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                            Please love yourself.

                            Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                            • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                              @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                              @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                              There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                              That's not really following your passion, though.

                              "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                              And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                              Doctor PhibesD Offline
                              Doctor PhibesD Offline
                              Doctor Phibes
                              wrote on last edited by Doctor Phibes
                              #19

                              @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                              @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                              @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                              There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                              That's not really following your passion, though.

                              "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                              And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                              What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion. Not doing something you hate isn't the same thing as following your passion, but is of course better than doing something you hate.

                              I was only joking

                              Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                              • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                That's not really following your passion, though.

                                "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion. Not doing something you hate isn't the same thing as following your passion, but is of course better than doing something you hate.

                                Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                Aqua Letifer
                                wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                                #20

                                @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                That's not really following your passion, though.

                                "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally? Following your passion isn't the same thing as doing the exact thing that you think your passion is at this very moment. Where you end up is almost always going to be wildly different. That's not a failure of the process and it's still good advice.

                                Please love yourself.

                                Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                                • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                  @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                  There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                  That's not really following your passion, though.

                                  "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                  And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                  What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                  Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally? Following your passion isn't the same thing as doing the exact thing that you think your passion is at this very moment. Where you end up is almost always going to be wildly different. That's not a failure of the process and it's still good advice.

                                  Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                  Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                  Doctor Phibes
                                  wrote on last edited by Doctor Phibes
                                  #21

                                  @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                  There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                  That's not really following your passion, though.

                                  "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                  And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                  What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                  Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally?

                                  OK, let's make it personal 😆

                                  I was never good enough to make it a career. I've played with people who were and who did, and I've seen enough to know it's a very double-edged sword, with ruined marriages and in one case ending up being a hotel porter and playing in pubs at night, which isn't what I would want. I know other people who have ended up with a decent life doing session work and playing cruise ships, but I don't think that's the dream.

                                  Anyway, my passion is safety engineering.

                                  I was only joking

                                  Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                    Doctor Phibes
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #22

                                    ...and sarcasm.

                                    I was only joking

                                    89th8 1 Reply Last reply
                                    • HoraceH Offline
                                      HoraceH Offline
                                      Horace
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #23

                                      Passions can be developed. In fact, becoming really, really good at some specific thing can be an abstract passion in itself. That's where a lot of conscientious, hard-working people end up, and I don't think they're missing out just because they're not doing as an adult, what they dreamt of as a child.

                                      Education is extremely important.

                                      Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • HoraceH Horace

                                        Passions can be developed. In fact, becoming really, really good at some specific thing can be an abstract passion in itself. That's where a lot of conscientious, hard-working people end up, and I don't think they're missing out just because they're not doing as an adult, what they dreamt of as a child.

                                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                        Doctor Phibes
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #24

                                        @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                                        Passions can be developed. In fact, becoming really, really good at some specific thing can be an abstract passion in itself. That's where a lot of conscientious, hard-working people end up, and I don't think they're missing out just because they're not doing as an adult, what they dreamt of as a child.

                                        It's also a balancing act. At the risk of sounding like somebody who wears amusing Christmas sweaters year-round, having a happy family life is way more important to me than following a career dream, and my job means I get to own my own house and what-not. So maybe the happy family life is my passion. Well, that and my collection of amusing Christmas sweaters.

                                        I was only joking

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                          That's not really following your passion, though.

                                          "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                          And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                          What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                          Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally?

                                          OK, let's make it personal 😆

                                          I was never good enough to make it a career. I've played with people who were and who did, and I've seen enough to know it's a very double-edged sword, with ruined marriages and in one case ending up being a hotel porter and playing in pubs at night, which isn't what I would want. I know other people who have ended up with a decent life doing session work and playing cruise ships, but I don't think that's the dream.

                                          Anyway, my passion is safety engineering.

                                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                          Aqua Letifer
                                          wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                                          #25

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                          That's not really following your passion, though.

                                          "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                          And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                          What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                          Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally?

                                          OK, let's make it personal 😆

                                          I was never good enough to make it a career.

                                          Make what a career? Playing gigs? That's like one job. That's not "music." If "music" is a legitimate passion as you claim it is, then sound design, production, audio engineering, teaching and dozens of other jobs are also on the table. Unless the passion we're talking about truly is just playing gigs.

                                          In which case, of the people you know who did play gigs for a living, how long did that last? You mentioned ruined marriages and being a hotel porter. Shit, Johnny Cash was playing dumpy cocktail lounges and living in obscurity when Rick Rubin picked him back up. Playing gigs on a national or international scale is not a career, it's a thing very few people get to do for a very short period of time.

                                          "Pursuing a passion" with a mix of common sense and a gut feeling about whether or not you'll hate it usually leads people somewhere (1) completely outside of where they were aiming at and (2) somewhere that's interesting for them. It's not a bad strategy.

                                          Not everyone has to do that—another good strategy is to pick something sensible to support everything else in one's life. But guaranteed your musical abilities aren't holding you back from doing everything under the sun. There's a ton of stuff in between "nothing" and "Taylor Swift."

                                          Please love yourself.

                                          Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
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