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The New Coffee Room

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  3. Dear Self,...

Dear Self,...

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  • HoraceH Offline
    HoraceH Offline
    Horace
    wrote on last edited by Horace
    #3

    All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

    Education is extremely important.

    Aqua LetiferA 89th8 2 Replies Last reply
    • taiwan_girlT Offline
      taiwan_girlT Offline
      taiwan_girl
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Save early and save often. I know we have shown charts here on that.

      For example: saving a USD$100/month at age 20 will give you XXX $ at age 60.

      However, if you wait to start saving until age 30, it will require USD$500/month to get the same amount.

      89th8 1 Reply Last reply
      • taiwan_girlT taiwan_girl

        Save early and save often. I know we have shown charts here on that.

        For example: saving a USD$100/month at age 20 will give you XXX $ at age 60.

        However, if you wait to start saving until age 30, it will require USD$500/month to get the same amount.

        89th8 Offline
        89th8 Offline
        89th
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        @taiwan_girl said in Dear Self,...:

        Save early and save often. I know we have shown charts here on that.

        For example: saving a USD$100/month at age 20 will give you XXX $ at age 60.

        However, if you wait to start saving until age 30, it will require USD$500/month to get the same amount.

        Each generation helps the next, at least that's the goal. My dad's parents abandoned him as a kid, so he lived with his uncle and ate ketchup packets after school because there was no food in the fridge. Worked 80 hours a week during college to pay for it, later was the single income with 5 kids at home, eventually got his masters and doctorate. Smart man but also too proud to talk finances and unfortunately taught me a lesson indirectly as he later admitted he burned through his 401k just after the housing crash in 2008 as he was trying to get a consulting firm off the ground. So instead of that $300k 401k in 2009 being worth a million now, he mostly lives off of social security now. Two of my brothers have zero in savings, whereas another brother and I have been saving from the start.

        In any event, I'm building off of the opportunities my parents provided to me (paid for about half of college), by having savings accounts for the 3 kids already set up and college accounts (529s) ready to help them get a jump start in life once they enter the workforce. Hopefully it enables them to do the same for their kids, and so on, and so on.

        JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
        • HoraceH Horace

          All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

          Aqua LetiferA Offline
          Aqua LetiferA Offline
          Aqua Letifer
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

          All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

          It depends on how rigidly it's defined. There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

          Please love yourself.

          Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
          • HoraceH Horace

            All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

            89th8 Offline
            89th8 Offline
            89th
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

            All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

            Good point. I really wanted to "make movies" when I was in high school, but I learned relatively soon after that it's more realistic to get a decent paying job that I don't mind (and coworker who I enjoy, which is important IMO) so that it enables my passions, whether that is photography, travel, movies, golf, etc.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • JollyJ Jolly

              The comments are pretty interesting, too.

              Link to video

              89th8 Offline
              89th8 Offline
              89th
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              @Jolly said in Dear Self,...:

              The comments are pretty interesting, too.

              Agreed.

              Such as this one: "It’s not a mistake to retire, it’s a mistake to stop living just bc you’re not working"

              I think it depends on your personality. I've mentioned before how I told my wife I want to retire as early as possible, who knows when but my goal right now is 57, maybe earlier. She said "won't you get bored?" and I would never. I have so many books I want to read, movies, shows, golf, travel, swimming... heck I'd be happy getting a massage and then watching sports at the local pub. I would NEVER get bored if I was able to stop working. I'd volunteer for little leagues and umpire. Who cares! So much to do, so little time.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

                It depends on how rigidly it's defined. There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                Doctor PhibesD Online
                Doctor PhibesD Online
                Doctor Phibes
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                That's not really following your passion, though.

                Also, as somebody else once said (I might be paraphrasing), music is a wonderful pastime but a terrible career, at least for most people.

                I was only joking

                Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                • MikM Away
                  MikM Away
                  Mik
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                  Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                  • MikM Mik

                    I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

                    Doctor PhibesD Online
                    Doctor PhibesD Online
                    Doctor Phibes
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    @Mik said in Dear Self,...:

                    I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

                    They call it 'work' for a reason. If it was any different, they'd call it 'fun' and charge admission.

                    I was only joking

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • HoraceH Offline
                      HoraceH Offline
                      Horace
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                      Education is extremely important.

                      Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                      • MikM Away
                        MikM Away
                        Mik
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        Yeah, healthcare has provided no end of avenues for me. These days I do a lot more problem solving project guidance than hands on tech work.

                        “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • HoraceH Horace

                          I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                          Doctor PhibesD Online
                          Doctor PhibesD Online
                          Doctor Phibes
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                          I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                          It's funny, when I graduated I really wanted to be a programmer. I went to a couple of interviews, and in both cases passed the aptitude test - I must have shown something as they selected about 5 people out of 100 both times. Then, in both cases I failed to get offered a job, presumably due to my admittedly completely woeful social skills at that time.

                          So ever since then I've had to live with the stigma of not having good enough social skills to be a computer programmer. And now I'm a manager 😆

                          I was only joking

                          HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply
                          • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                            @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                            I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                            It's funny, when I graduated I really wanted to be a programmer. I went to a couple of interviews, and in both cases passed the aptitude test - I must have shown something as they selected about 5 people out of 100 both times. Then, in both cases I failed to get offered a job, presumably due to my admittedly completely woeful social skills at that time.

                            So ever since then I've had to live with the stigma of not having good enough social skills to be a computer programmer. And now I'm a manager 😆

                            HoraceH Offline
                            HoraceH Offline
                            Horace
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                            Education is extremely important.

                            MikM 1 Reply Last reply
                            • HoraceH Horace

                              @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                              MikM Away
                              MikM Away
                              Mik
                              wrote on last edited by Mik
                              #16

                              @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                              @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                              And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                              “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                              Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                              • MikM Mik

                                @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                                And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                                Doctor PhibesD Online
                                Doctor PhibesD Online
                                Doctor Phibes
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                @Mik said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                                @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                                And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                                To be fair, my social skills have improved a lot in the last 40 years.

                                And anybody who says otherwise can go fuck themselves!

                                I was only joking

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                  @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                  There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                  That's not really following your passion, though.

                                  Also, as somebody else once said (I might be paraphrasing), music is a wonderful pastime but a terrible career, at least for most people.

                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua Letifer
                                  wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                                  #18

                                  @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                  There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                  That's not really following your passion, though.

                                  "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                  And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                  Please love yourself.

                                  Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                    @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                    @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                    There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                    That's not really following your passion, though.

                                    "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                    And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                    Doctor PhibesD Online
                                    Doctor PhibesD Online
                                    Doctor Phibes
                                    wrote on last edited by Doctor Phibes
                                    #19

                                    @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                    @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                    @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                    There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                    That's not really following your passion, though.

                                    "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                    And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                    What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion. Not doing something you hate isn't the same thing as following your passion, but is of course better than doing something you hate.

                                    I was only joking

                                    Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                      @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                      @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                      @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                      There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                      That's not really following your passion, though.

                                      "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                      And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                      What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion. Not doing something you hate isn't the same thing as following your passion, but is of course better than doing something you hate.

                                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                      Aqua Letifer
                                      wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                                      #20

                                      @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                      @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                      @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                      @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                      There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                      That's not really following your passion, though.

                                      "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                      And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                      What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                      Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally? Following your passion isn't the same thing as doing the exact thing that you think your passion is at this very moment. Where you end up is almost always going to be wildly different. That's not a failure of the process and it's still good advice.

                                      Please love yourself.

                                      Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                        @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                        That's not really following your passion, though.

                                        "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                        And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                        What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                        Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally? Following your passion isn't the same thing as doing the exact thing that you think your passion is at this very moment. Where you end up is almost always going to be wildly different. That's not a failure of the process and it's still good advice.

                                        Doctor PhibesD Online
                                        Doctor PhibesD Online
                                        Doctor Phibes
                                        wrote on last edited by Doctor Phibes
                                        #21

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                        That's not really following your passion, though.

                                        "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                        And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                        What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                        Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally?

                                        OK, let's make it personal 😆

                                        I was never good enough to make it a career. I've played with people who were and who did, and I've seen enough to know it's a very double-edged sword, with ruined marriages and in one case ending up being a hotel porter and playing in pubs at night, which isn't what I would want. I know other people who have ended up with a decent life doing session work and playing cruise ships, but I don't think that's the dream.

                                        Anyway, my passion is safety engineering.

                                        I was only joking

                                        Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Doctor PhibesD Online
                                          Doctor PhibesD Online
                                          Doctor Phibes
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #22

                                          ...and sarcasm.

                                          I was only joking

                                          89th8 1 Reply Last reply
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