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The New Coffee Room

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  3. Dear Self,...

Dear Self,...

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  • JollyJ Offline
    JollyJ Offline
    Jolly
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    The comments are pretty interesting, too.

    Link to video

    “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

    89th8 1 Reply Last reply
    • MikM Offline
      MikM Offline
      Mik
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      This is something we drilled into daughter since first job.

      “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

      1 Reply Last reply
      • HoraceH Offline
        HoraceH Offline
        Horace
        wrote on last edited by Horace
        #3

        All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

        Education is extremely important.

        Aqua LetiferA 89th8 2 Replies Last reply
        • taiwan_girlT Offline
          taiwan_girlT Offline
          taiwan_girl
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Save early and save often. I know we have shown charts here on that.

          For example: saving a USD$100/month at age 20 will give you XXX $ at age 60.

          However, if you wait to start saving until age 30, it will require USD$500/month to get the same amount.

          89th8 1 Reply Last reply
          • taiwan_girlT taiwan_girl

            Save early and save often. I know we have shown charts here on that.

            For example: saving a USD$100/month at age 20 will give you XXX $ at age 60.

            However, if you wait to start saving until age 30, it will require USD$500/month to get the same amount.

            89th8 Offline
            89th8 Offline
            89th
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            @taiwan_girl said in Dear Self,...:

            Save early and save often. I know we have shown charts here on that.

            For example: saving a USD$100/month at age 20 will give you XXX $ at age 60.

            However, if you wait to start saving until age 30, it will require USD$500/month to get the same amount.

            Each generation helps the next, at least that's the goal. My dad's parents abandoned him as a kid, so he lived with his uncle and ate ketchup packets after school because there was no food in the fridge. Worked 80 hours a week during college to pay for it, later was the single income with 5 kids at home, eventually got his masters and doctorate. Smart man but also too proud to talk finances and unfortunately taught me a lesson indirectly as he later admitted he burned through his 401k just after the housing crash in 2008 as he was trying to get a consulting firm off the ground. So instead of that $300k 401k in 2009 being worth a million now, he mostly lives off of social security now. Two of my brothers have zero in savings, whereas another brother and I have been saving from the start.

            In any event, I'm building off of the opportunities my parents provided to me (paid for about half of college), by having savings accounts for the 3 kids already set up and college accounts (529s) ready to help them get a jump start in life once they enter the workforce. Hopefully it enables them to do the same for their kids, and so on, and so on.

            JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
            • HoraceH Horace

              All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

              Aqua LetiferA Offline
              Aqua LetiferA Offline
              Aqua Letifer
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

              All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

              It depends on how rigidly it's defined. There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

              Please love yourself.

              Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
              • HoraceH Horace

                All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

                89th8 Offline
                89th8 Offline
                89th
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

                Good point. I really wanted to "make movies" when I was in high school, but I learned relatively soon after that it's more realistic to get a decent paying job that I don't mind (and coworker who I enjoy, which is important IMO) so that it enables my passions, whether that is photography, travel, movies, golf, etc.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • JollyJ Jolly

                  The comments are pretty interesting, too.

                  Link to video

                  89th8 Offline
                  89th8 Offline
                  89th
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  @Jolly said in Dear Self,...:

                  The comments are pretty interesting, too.

                  Agreed.

                  Such as this one: "It’s not a mistake to retire, it’s a mistake to stop living just bc you’re not working"

                  I think it depends on your personality. I've mentioned before how I told my wife I want to retire as early as possible, who knows when but my goal right now is 57, maybe earlier. She said "won't you get bored?" and I would never. I have so many books I want to read, movies, shows, golf, travel, swimming... heck I'd be happy getting a massage and then watching sports at the local pub. I would NEVER get bored if I was able to stop working. I'd volunteer for little leagues and umpire. Who cares! So much to do, so little time.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                    @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                    All good but for the "follow your passion in your career" advice. That's rarely practical, but the people for whom it works out consider it their duty to try to convince everybody that that's the best way to live. I don't suspect any of the "musicians" in that video would have been well-served to try to make a living at it.

                    It depends on how rigidly it's defined. There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                    Doctor Phibes
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                    There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                    That's not really following your passion, though.

                    Also, as somebody else once said (I might be paraphrasing), music is a wonderful pastime but a terrible career, at least for most people.

                    I was only joking

                    Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                    • MikM Offline
                      MikM Offline
                      Mik
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

                      “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                      Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                      • MikM Mik

                        I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor Phibes
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        @Mik said in Dear Self,...:

                        I wanted a job I was passionate about until i started looking for jobs. I quickly found out that fun jobs were hard to come by but shit jobs were relatively plentiful. Luckily after futilely pursuing journalism, I ended up programming which provided me the autonomy and creativity I sought. It was like being paid to work puzzles, plus my positions always had a lot of user contact.

                        They call it 'work' for a reason. If it was any different, they'd call it 'fun' and charge admission.

                        I was only joking

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • HoraceH Offline
                          HoraceH Offline
                          Horace
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                          Education is extremely important.

                          Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                          • MikM Offline
                            MikM Offline
                            Mik
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Yeah, healthcare has provided no end of avenues for me. These days I do a lot more problem solving project guidance than hands on tech work.

                            “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • HoraceH Horace

                              I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                              Doctor PhibesD Offline
                              Doctor PhibesD Offline
                              Doctor Phibes
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                              I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                              It's funny, when I graduated I really wanted to be a programmer. I went to a couple of interviews, and in both cases passed the aptitude test - I must have shown something as they selected about 5 people out of 100 both times. Then, in both cases I failed to get offered a job, presumably due to my admittedly completely woeful social skills at that time.

                              So ever since then I've had to live with the stigma of not having good enough social skills to be a computer programmer. And now I'm a manager 😆

                              I was only joking

                              HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply
                              • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                                I taught myself simple computer programming as a kid, and always wanted to do it professionally. Then I got sick of it professionally and was lucky to be able to move into more math and algorithm work, with almost no expectation that I do grunt work programming. That had everything to do with luck, since I only fell over backwards into bio-tech as a fledgling programmer, and bio-tech happens to have those other avenues available. I despise the process of "mastering" ever-changing programming technologies.

                                It's funny, when I graduated I really wanted to be a programmer. I went to a couple of interviews, and in both cases passed the aptitude test - I must have shown something as they selected about 5 people out of 100 both times. Then, in both cases I failed to get offered a job, presumably due to my admittedly completely woeful social skills at that time.

                                So ever since then I've had to live with the stigma of not having good enough social skills to be a computer programmer. And now I'm a manager 😆

                                HoraceH Offline
                                HoraceH Offline
                                Horace
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                                Education is extremely important.

                                MikM 1 Reply Last reply
                                • HoraceH Horace

                                  @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                                  MikM Offline
                                  MikM Offline
                                  Mik
                                  wrote on last edited by Mik
                                  #16

                                  @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                                  @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                                  And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                                  Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • MikM Mik

                                    @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                                    @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                                    And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                    Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                    Doctor Phibes
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    @Mik said in Dear Self,...:

                                    @Horace said in Dear Self,...:

                                    @Doctor-Phibes That is funny.

                                    And common. So many times I've seen the best technical resources made into managers, which is usually the last thing they want.

                                    To be fair, my social skills have improved a lot in the last 40 years.

                                    And anybody who says otherwise can go fuck themselves!

                                    I was only joking

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                      @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                      There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                      That's not really following your passion, though.

                                      Also, as somebody else once said (I might be paraphrasing), music is a wonderful pastime but a terrible career, at least for most people.

                                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                      Aqua Letifer
                                      wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                                      #18

                                      @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                      @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                      There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                      That's not really following your passion, though.

                                      "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                      And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                      Please love yourself.

                                      Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                                        @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                        That's not really following your passion, though.

                                        "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                        And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                                        Doctor Phibes
                                        wrote on last edited by Doctor Phibes
                                        #19

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                        @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                        There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                        That's not really following your passion, though.

                                        "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                        And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                        What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion. Not doing something you hate isn't the same thing as following your passion, but is of course better than doing something you hate.

                                        I was only joking

                                        Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                          That's not really following your passion, though.

                                          "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                          And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                          What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion. Not doing something you hate isn't the same thing as following your passion, but is of course better than doing something you hate.

                                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                          Aqua Letifer
                                          wrote on last edited by Aqua Letifer
                                          #20

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Doctor-Phibes said in Dear Self,...:

                                          @Aqua-Letifer said in Dear Self,...:

                                          There are a shitload of musician-adjacent careers that are just close enough to help musicians maintain enough give-a-shit to make the job loads better than accountancy.

                                          That's not really following your passion, though.

                                          "Music" isn't a passion, that's ridiculous. What do you mean by that? Playing in front of others? Teaching others how to play? Mixing stuff? Soundscapes? Theory? Music therapy? Actual passions aren't vague.

                                          And there's a world of difference between compromising everything about yourself to be more marketable and negotiating with the world to find something you don't entirely hate doing and gives you something beyond a paycheck. No, it's not literally doing the very specific thing you had in your head that you wanted to do, but were you allowed to do that thing for a living you'd be just as happy or miserable as you are now.

                                          What I meant was that 'maintaining enough give-a-shit' isn't really what I think of as passion. Of course music is a passion.

                                          Says the guy who's never really pursued his professionally? Following your passion isn't the same thing as doing the exact thing that you think your passion is at this very moment. Where you end up is almost always going to be wildly different. That's not a failure of the process and it's still good advice.

                                          Please love yourself.

                                          Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
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