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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #749

    What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

    One looks up the family tree. The other looks up the family bush.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #750

      Turn any sofa into a bed by telling your wife to calm down.

      Follow me for more life hacks.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
      • George KG Offline
        George KG Offline
        George K
        wrote on last edited by
        #751

        What’s the non-binary agenda?

        Trick question, they don’t have agenda

        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

          Turn any sofa into a bed by telling your wife to calm down.

          Follow me for more life hacks.

          Catseye3C Offline
          Catseye3C Offline
          Catseye3
          wrote on last edited by
          #752

          @jon-nyc said in So....:

          Turn any sofa into a bed by telling your wife to calm down.
          Follow me for more life hacks.

          Turn any sofa into a hospital bed by telling your wife to calm down.

          FIFY.

          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins Dad
            wrote on last edited by
            #753

            I asked Karla where she wanted to go for date night.

            She said she doesn’t care just so long as it’s somewhere she’s never been before….

            So the kitchen it is…

            The Brad

            1 Reply Last reply
            • Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3
              wrote on last edited by
              #754

              I asked my mirror yesterday if there is anybody prettier than me. The bastard is still reciting names.

              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

              1 Reply Last reply
              • Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3
                wrote on last edited by
                #755

                Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect. -- Benny Hill

                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                • Catseye3C Catseye3

                  Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect. -- Benny Hill

                  George KG Offline
                  George KG Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #756

                  @Catseye3 said in So....:

                  Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

                  alt text

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • Catseye3C Offline
                    Catseye3C Offline
                    Catseye3
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #757

                    My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. -- Mike Myers

                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #758

                      I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. -- Jack Benny

                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #759

                        Christ, seven years of college, down the drain. -- John Belushi

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • Catseye3C Offline
                          Catseye3C Offline
                          Catseye3
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #760

                          There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap. -- Kevin James

                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #761

                            My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”

                            I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead.”

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #762

                              When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. --- George Carlin

                              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                                #763

                                What do you call a woman who doesn’t give head?

                                A taxi.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • Catseye3C Offline
                                  Catseye3C Offline
                                  Catseye3
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #764

                                  My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. -- Phyllis Diller

                                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #765

                                    The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.

                                    I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #766

                                      I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. -- Billy Connolly

                                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #767

                                        Why can’t Miss Piggy count to seventy?

                                        At sixty-nine she gets a frog in her throat.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #768

                                          Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. -- Billy Connolly

                                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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