So....
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wrote on 25 Feb 2025, 01:46 last edited by
Damn.
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wrote on 17 Mar 2025, 21:07 last edited by
A scammer called me and said he had all my passwords.
I got a pen and said ‘Thank god for that. What are they?’
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wrote on 25 Mar 2025, 22:27 last edited by
If I get sent to jail my wife will bail me out.
She never lets me finish a sentence.
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wrote 29 days ago last edited by
Best thing about sex with an Amish girl?
She doesn’t expect you to call the next day.
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wrote 27 days ago last edited by
The doctor told me I had to quit masturbating. I asked her why. She said “because you’re in the middle of a prostate exam, asshole”
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wrote 27 days ago last edited by
Someone just told me Einstein was a real person.
And all this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
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wrote 27 days ago last edited by
You know dynamite was invented by Alfred Nobel.
At first he didn't have a name for it; then it blew his house up and he said, this stuff's dynamite.Someone just threw Chinese soup at me.
It was won-ton violence. -
wrote 26 days ago last edited by
I thought my new girlfriend might be 'The One'.
But after looking through her underwear drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French Maid's outfit and a Policewoman uniform I've decided, if she can't hold down a job, she's not the right one for me.
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wrote 20 days ago last edited by
So… one of my testicles hangs lower than the other two.
Is this normal?
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wrote 18 days ago last edited by
Yesterday I didn't take a nap.
Pulled an all-dayer.
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wrote 14 days ago last edited by
12 years ago today my friend Dave came out running and screaming “IT’S A BOY!!!” with tears streaming down his face.
We’ve never been back to Thailand since.
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wrote 13 days ago last edited by
Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer.
One of the guys remarks to the other,
"Boy, you look tired!"
His friend replies, "Dude, I'm exhausted. My girlfriend wants to make love all the time - three, four, sometimes even six times a night! She wakes me up at all hours. I don't know what to do!"
An old gentleman in his seventies, sitting a few bar stools down, overhears their conversation.
He looked over at the two men and, showing the wisdom of his age, says,
"Marry her, that'll put an end to that nonsense!"
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wrote 13 days ago last edited by
Lol
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wrote 13 days ago last edited by jon-nyc
I want my kid to have everything I couldn’t afford.
Then I want to move in with him.
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wrote 10 days ago last edited by
I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for quality or training purposes.
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wrote 7 days ago last edited by
I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.
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wrote 7 days ago last edited by
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wrote 7 days ago last edited by
The only time I ever get asked for sex is on medical forms.
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wrote about 21 hours ago last edited by
Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs aren’t one of them.
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wrote about 16 hours ago last edited by
